I love you like a fat kid loves cake

Prologue

     Mom was always kind of strict. She was uh... I guess you could say she was obsessed with telling people what to do. Me? Well I was the kind of kid that would go outside, climb on the trees, play tag with friends, or even go on a little bike ride. Television was huge back then. It was what you youngsters would call, "the bomb." Computers weren't around. But school was. As a child, I loved school. My teacher was outstanding. Everyday there would be a new riddle to solve. I was quite the genius back then, if I do say so myself. I won first place in our spelling bee. Of course I don't have them nowadays, but my wife says I still got it. Who's my wife you ask? Well, it goes way back to third grade. I was 9 at the time. It was February, Valentine's Day. But me and my pals acted like it was April Fool's Day. None of us had any special interests in any special someone. But little Freddy sure did! That special someone was Mary. He acted like she was the center of the universe and she didn't even know he existed. Anyway, me and my pals decided we would play a prank on a girl that we forgot was in our class. George handed me a paper from his desk. I took out my pencil and started to write. "I love you like a fat kid loves cake." We thought it was hilarious. Once our teacher, Mr. Penn stepped out, Fred folded the note into a paper airplane and I threw it over to the girl. Once it landed on her desk, she unfolded it. She grinned, blew me a kiss, and stuck the airplane into her desk. Does she think it was real? I thought. Just then Mr. Penn came back and the bell for lunch rang. I sat down with my two pals at an empty table in the cafeteria like I always did. But it was different. My pals sat at the table behind me and the girl from class sat down in the seat across from me.