Artist's New Feelings

Chapter 1 - That Night

After the war, Sai and Sakura had been seen together more frequently than usual. They had gotten fonder and more comfortable of each other's company but the constant bickering was still there. No matter how many times Sakura explained to Sai that commenting negatively on people's appearances is rude and will only lead to him in physical pain, he never seemed to mind. Telling someone the truth just made much more sense to him than deceiving people. Sometimes Sakura would just try to prolong her patience but it really just makes her want to pulverize him to death when he was being too much. She wished she was exaggerating, but she really wasn't.

Although the two were always fighting, mainly Sakura punching Sai, and Sai just smiling to her, many thought that they were really cute together, and even wondered if they were dating – but it was never like that. Sai didn't seem to be the type of man who would get involved in a romantic relationship anyway, as this boy was too oblivious of such thing according to Sakura. Sakura, of course, had always been devoted of her feelings to Sasuke and she knew she can never replace him, especially now that he showed her a simple but meaningful gesture of affection before he left. He gave her hope, hope that she once lost but rose again.

Despite the latter, she still felt so melancholic from time to time. Ever since Sasuke left the village again to seek redemption, he never returned her messages. He never even visited home once every few months to relax and bond with his friends in Konoha even just for a little while. He was persistent to find peace in his soul and help the people in need around the world. She understood that but there was a part of her that wished he was able to forgive himself so he could at least let people join him in his journey who are willing to. She missed him so much, so much that she was starting to hurt again.

Hanging out with Sai though makes it a little easier to wait. Even with Sai's insulting words, she was still happy to have him around. Sai became her diary. Sai became her new best friend. She thought that was impossible to ever happen as he always seemed to prefer being alone more during his free time to concentrate on his artworks, but in the past eight months, the two had been bonding more than ever.

Sai had always been there just to listen and understand her. For someone who was still learning about feelings and emotions, he was a great listener. He never really got tired of her blabbering and complaining and crying and longing for the Uchiha. He wanted to be there with her. He wanted to be the one that comforted her. He wanted to understand what she was feeling.

She also made him feel things that were so foreign to him. He could never fathom what they were but being with her satisfied his need. These feelings though were something he could never speak of with her. He didn't know why, but his heart always felt like it just ran a marathon on its own even just imagining telling her.

It all started that one night after their mission at Kirigakure when these feelings started to occur to him, flashbacks kept him reminiscing this moment with her:

They were resting by the lake, just sitting on the grass and admiring the beautiful sky after a very exhausting day. The stars became more prominent as the night went by. He took a glimpse of her and saw how the moon was illuminating her viridian eyes and her porcelain skin so strikingly. The breeze was softly brushing her hair, making it look even softer than he thought. She was smiling while staring up above. The sky was beautiful indeed, but she was... more beautiful that night. He was so mesmerized by her – something he thought he would never tell himself as he had always called her "ugly". What did "ugly" even really mean to him? She looked back at him and he noticed the instant flush forming on her cheeks. She asked him why he was staring at her. He looked away and never answered her question. He wanted to tell her that she was beautiful, but the immediate feelings he felt inside were betraying him. He felt his heart racing in an abnormal state and his stomach seemed like it was being twisted into a knot. He felt so hot. He only wished that the darkness surrounding them covered up the redness he knew his cheeks were turning into. Once they got home he painted the exact moment that they were that night. But mostly just her and the sky.

He had finished that painting months ago, but he never got the courage to show it to her, he didn't really understand why. It was an elegant painting and he was able to capture her perfectly but his guts kept telling him not to. He even hid it in a place where Sakura couldn't see it just in case she visits him his apartment without notice.

In spite of that, he kept drawing her in different views through his mind since he didn't want to draw her when she was around. He never really had pictures of her to have a reference anyway, and it's not like he wanted to. Why would he have pictures of Sakura, right?

It seemed like he was able to memorize every lines and every curves of her face and body. She was truly fascinating to draw. She was the opposite of him, because unlike him she was made of many colors and emotions. Her hair reminded him of those rosy pink hues that mixes with orange and blue during sunrise. Her eyes were the color of sea that still makes your feet touch the ground.

She was art just like nature, he told himself. He couldn't help but think of her.

It took him long before he decided to find answers as to what he was feeling. He didn't really want to bother since it was just Sakura. Maybe he did finally find her attractive but he had seen photos of girls on magazines that he found attractive before and those girls never made him feel like this.

He decided to go to the library and finally search for books that might answer his questions.

He took all the books about human emotions again and sat to the nearest table to start reading. Upon reading the books, the words that explained what he was feeling was "infatuation".