With Time

Part 1

Grace's POV

I was currently hiding in my car trying to find the perfect goodbye words for my husband Ben. I had no idea what to say, I didn't want to leave without him knowing why. I couldn't do that to him. As I began to think more I just decided to write what was in my heart. I needed to tell him the truth.

"To my beating heart Ben, this is the hardest goodbye I've ever written. We have been in love with each other since we were nearly 14 years old. There are no words that I can form to describe how I'm feeling but I guess I have to huh. We have had an epic love story. We have a love people dream about, a love they make movies about. But the can never seem to get it just right. You are my entire world. You have allowed be to be the women and mother I've always dreamed of being. I can be reckless around you. I can breath easier when I'm around you. You are the blood running through my veins. You are the sound of my heart beating. You are my lips when the form into a smile. You are my eyes when they shine at the sight of everything I love. You are me and I am you. I have been through hell and back trying to get you back into my life and it's all been worth it. I've never given up on you. People called me stupid for always going back to you. But they didn't know what we had. I was such a shy girl. I had so many issues in my life but when I was around you I felt like a whole different person. There is no love like I have for you. As I'm crying writing this and thinking of all the memories we have together both good and bad, I can't stop but think how I'm even this strong to leave you. I know you, and i know that you won't stop looking for me. I know that you'll blame yourself, I know that without realizing it you'll start neglecting our beautiful babies. I know you'll relive every memory we have together and replay all our conversations trying to find the slightest clue of where I've gone and why I've left you so suddenly. But for the sake of my children and your well being I need you to let me go. It may seem selfish to ask but I need you to let me go. The world hates me. Nothing is what it ever seems. There are things I've never told you. There are things I've been through that have come back to haunt me. There are people who threaten my family's very existence. These past year have been great. I've watched you move on from me and slowly find your way back. I don't know how long I'll be gone but I've written letter for each of my babies, and recorded videos. The letters and videos I have for Lani, my beautiful baby girl, are in the basement of my parents home. And the videos and letters I have for Jacob are stored in the garage. I have gifts and different things they'll want when their older. When Lani starters dating and starts her period be patient with her. Because if she's anything like me I know you'll be on the verge of kicking her out. Lol. For my baby boy, just make him a better version of yourself. Tell them everyday that their mommy loved them and she left because it's just what she had to do to keep the safe. And lastly for you. I also left you gifts. I made videos for you and wrote long letters. I want you to find love, I want you to find a good woman for my babies to call mom. Try your best not to find a women that resembles me or even is like me because that wouldn't be you moving on. As I dread the ending of this letter...I want you to know that I love so much. I love you so damn much...and my heart is breaking one piece at a time. You'll always have my heart. It belongs to you. Find love. Love hard. Give her your  all. And for whoever she may be,
her letters are with the letters I wrote for you. For whenever she may be struggling with the kids or even you I've written to her. And only ONLY give those letters to the women you know is right. And trust me you'll know as soon as you lay eyes on her. But goodbye my love...may you find happiness and may all you're wishes and desires come true. And for that acting dream of yours...I better see you in an Oscan winning film in the next 10 years. I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you sooooo much. Be brave. You'll make it without me. I promise".

At this point I'm balling out crying. I'm breathing extremely hard and my heart is racing. I need to calm down. It's about 12:30 in the morning and I've got all my things packed. I started thinking of where to place the letter...I decided to put it in the windshield of his car. I need to hurry and leave. It took everything in my to drive out of this driveway. But I had to. I needed to. This was my goodbye. I'll be back, but with time.