*izzy* Luna took me back home. I sat in my room by myself. Just eating. I haven't been eating as much sugar as I should because, ugh I sound so self obsessed, but so i dont get fat. That make me sound like that's all I care about, my weight, my looks, my height, that's all anyone cares about these days. But I've just felt like I wasn't good enough. Like Chloe's perfect. Then there's me. Yippee! It's fun being the ugly one. When I'm not in a very good mood I sing, no one knows I sing, I want it to be just my own talent, the only other person that knows about it is Luna. (The top is a compilation of Loren singing) I have a little nook area in the corner of my room, it's there for times like this, or when I'm editing. I went over there and started singing Titanium by David Guetta, I love that song so much! - You shout it out But I can't hear a word you say I'm talking loud not saying much I'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet You shoot me down, but I get up
I'm bulletproof nothing to lose Fire away, fire away Ricochet, you take your aim Fire away, fire away You shoot me down but I won't fall, I am titanium You shoot me down but I won't fall I am titanium, I am titanium, I am titanium, I am titanium - I stopped when I heard clapping and I turned over and saw Luna standing at my door.
"You need to show off your singing, you're amazing!" She said will jumping a little with a big smile.
"No, no." I said while looking down and fiddling with my fingers.
"If you don't i will." Luna said with a big smiling and holding up her phone.
"You son of a bitch." I said looking up at her and giving her a death look.
"Oops. I expect a video of you singing by tomorrow." She said and walked out, I just sighed.
I went over and grabbed my camera and set up my tripod in front of my nook. And I started recording.
"I don't want to do this. But i don't have a choice, but I'm singing Riptide by Vance Joy." I said then cleared my voice. - I was scared of dentists and the dark I was scared of pretty girls and starting conversations Oh, all my friends are turning green You're the magician's assistant in their dreams
Oh, and they come unstuck
Lady, running down to the riptide Taken away to the dark side I wanna be your left hand man I love you when you're singing that song and I got a lump in my throat cause You're gonna sing the words wrong - I just stopped there then turned off the camera. I didn't edit the video, I didn't make and intro or outro. I just posted it. I looked through my Instagram timeline and it was all the TMZ experience from this morning. I just sighed then turned my phone off. He video was called 'secret talent..' and once it went up Luna ran into my room and hugged me, and when she got out I wanted to redo my makeup. When I was done me and Luna wanted to take a photo and post it, of course!
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izzydavis: missed my bihh 👸🏻💞 @lunablaise
I was looking through the comments of my signing video and I got good feedback. I was feeling better when I went down stairs and heard pounding of my wall from the other room. It was Logan. I just decided to come over and talk to him.
"Hey logan." I said while we opened the door and I walked in.
"Hi." He said awkwardly.
"You're a great singer." He said trying to get rid of the awkwardness.
"Thank you." I said still not making eye contact and he sighed.
"Jake said he loves you too, correct." Logan said while looking at the ground.
"I-uh." I said not wanting to answer that.
"Yes he did." Logan said and started pacing but then sat down on the couch and I sat down next to him.
"I'm sorry, I can't control his emotions." I said trying to ease him down.
"WELL ITS YOUR FAULT FOR BEING SO.. GOSH DARN PERFECT." He yelled at me then went into the kitchen and broke a plate.
"logan." I said quietly but he just kept yelling.
"LOGAN!" I yelled at him to get his attention, he looked and stopped breaking plates, "I'm sorry that all of this happened! I'm sorry that you love me, I'm sorry that Jake loves me too. I love both of you! And I hate myself for that just I just don't really have a choice right now. I'm a complete mess! Everyone's mad at me. Especially the people I love!" I said raising my voice a little while crying.
"Well you can't date both of us." Logan said starring me dead in the eye.
"I know." I said crying even more.
"Just pick one." He said, "But please pick me." He said and kissed me then walked off.
I walked out of his apartment into my and just screamed into my pillow.
