Life's Decisions-A Magcon Boys fan Fiction

Life us quite the bitch.It's fun at times, and completely and utterly unbearable at most times.For what reasons, I dont know.What i do know is I hate it,Life that is.I guess i would classify myself as suicidal; I don't want to be here, I cant be here, I shouldnt be here.Yet i remain on this planet as a victim of truth and hurt. And it sucks. Oh let me intrduce myself before i carry on with my "Sob Story".

You see I am Skylar

Bordelon. I absolutely hate my last name it's so uncommon and ugh I hate it. I am the age of 16, about to turn 17 on March 14th. Okay enough about me; i'm not worth too much time.Onto what has happened in the last week.God I can still hear the screams in my head.Last week was the date that my parents died.Both of them.My father was never the great role model with his drinking,smoking,and gang activity.My mother was so vunerable that she let him stay as long as he didn't get in trouble with the police and would protect us.And thats exactly how he died.He had owed one of his gang memebers some cash for no reason and didn't have it by the deadline. So,they showed up at are house unannounnced, in the middle of the night. My mother had fallen asleep on the couch from endless episodes of The Real World after a lond day of hard work and i was asleep at the time.They got a hold of my mother awakening her,and my father came stumbling down the stairs because he,to was asleep in his and moms bedroom.He got into a fist fight with all of them, there were 5 excluding the on that was holding my mom,when i gently walked to the top of the stairs where i could see the scene perfectly. One of them had a blade .And was ready to use it.I wanted to desperately to call out to my father to watch out but it was already to late they had killed him. My mother screamed in shock and pain after seeing her husband murdered in front of her, making the man holding her slam a hand over her mouth to muffle the sounds. She loked at me stright in the eyes, and i could read her message perfectly.Hide.Right now.And thats exactly what i did.I hid in my closet and the sounds of my mother's screams and struggles were silenced, They had murdered her. they tried to find me and probably kill me to, but the never found me(morons). I heard p

olice sirens and they got me out of the closet as the other officers took away the men who killed the only people i had. Me being a only child, I had no where else left to go.None of my family lived out this way and my mother is also the only child.Not to mention my father had lost all touch with his only brother Bart.After he had gotten involved in the gang activity.I had no one.Some how the officers mananged to track down Bart and tell him what happended and now im being shopped to his house in California on behalf of the Ohio Police Officers.Thanks.I've never met my Uncle Bart. I mean, I've seen pictures of him holding me me as a baby;before my dad turned into an ass, but other then that, I have no recollection of him at all. My mom spoke about how he was the creator of this convention, but i forget the name of it. Something to with these nine boys or so?I dont know.

Now onto me...again. I m average height i guess 5'5 and im called "Skinny" by the people at my highschool.Not even nothering to argue with them, i mutter a "thanks" and walk on.I'd rather go unnoticed in school than have attention to me.Maybe thats because im akward as fuck or some sort of anxiety disorder.I dont know yet, all i know is i hate when people stare at me.It sounds so stupid but ,i am suddenly very aware of my actions and the way i hold myself up.I cut.I have for years.Scars line my thighs,stomach,hips,wrist;almost every where.My mom with her long hours of work and my dad constantly on the streets; no on really knew or found out.Which one one hand i was glad.I was glad no one found the scars or the deep gashes on my body.But there was this little glimmer of hope that they would find them.So for once I would feel like someone scared about me.Just Once.

Self worth and self hate are two diffrent things.Self worth for me is very very low.Im not worth anything.I dont matter to anyone besides my mom.But she is gone.Self hate is extremly high. Do you ever look in the mirror and see the most disgusting creature you've ever seen and know that ut's you.People could compliment you everyday, but ou dont believe it. It's all the "good" things about yourself that are overshadowed by this never leaving hate for yourself.And it's not fun.It's really not. It is like being trapped inside of someone you hate, because you are.You're trapped.

okay so thats the end of chapther one i hope you guys enjoyed it the next chapther will be up in a couple of hours it takes a while becasue i write the chapthers by hand first because its easier for me but yeah anyways dont you guys ever feel less dont down grade yourself your all perfect and i love you all just know there is somone out in the world who loves you for you!!!!