Behind the smile

How I'll choose to go

No love can come from a cold heart

No bright smile from a soul that's dark

As the demons shout, the shadows dance

Untrackable,yet noticed with every glance

Drawing closer,speaking louder, just end it all

Not strong enough to resist nor stall

I contemplate the painful ways in my sadistic mind

The only pain I ever felt was deserved was mine

But haven't I suffered enough?

All my life all I could do was be tough

But that's over,I'm done

How am I gonna rise again and see the sun?

Even on the brightest day when my eyes crack

I see nothing but the sad and black

Leaving is my only option to break this curse

Or else end up forever hurt

And not just me,the ones I love

And as I do this,your love's the one I'm thinking of

Why did you choose me you could've had so much more

Didn't ask to see what's behind the other doors

You stopped at mine,blindly,came to see me crying

Will you do the same if I show you how I'm dying?

I'd hope so,I know so, please don't say I'm loco

I deserve the pain,I'll make sure I go slow

But you'll be slower,nobody can change me

I've heard for the last time how I'm deranged,see

I know I'm not all there,but I'm always there for you

But you just push me away knowing full well what it'd do

The scars becoming more,blood loss follows suit

The crowd wants me to end it,that's for what my friends root

Can't wait til I see my body bleeding out

Or a gun on the floor with my brains all about