Loveless Miracle || l.s.

¢нαρтєя ѕιχтєєи

Harry's POV

I place the paper beside me and grab the box of blades. Opening the box, the only thing I can hear are them telling me to hurry up.

"I'm trying. I can't move fast enough." I choke out in a strained response to the voices occupying my head. "Dammit!"

As a result of my rushing, the blades jump into the air and lay scattered around me. I fumble for a blade, tears clouding my vision. Finally grabbing one, I begin to place the wonderful imperfections along my forearm.

"I'm coming for you, Lou! I promise baby." I cry and slash the cold metal across my skin, creating a rugged mark. Reaching for a towel on the edge of the tub and shoving it in my mouth, I make another mark. Muffled cries erupt and tears stream down my face.

She appears, her brown hair flying straight behind her. Her browns connect with my greens, causing another gasp of sobs to escape my burning throat.

"C'mon Harry. You're almost there! So close to the freedom you crave. So close to Louis." she encourages. I like that. She's finally positive.

I look at her face. She's pretty, what with her chestnut hair and light brown eyes. She bats her long eyelashes and fixes the fuchsia jumper that occupies her torso. "Why isn't this working? I need to go!" I scream up at her from my position on the white tiled floor.

"Here, you fuck." she points to the medicine cabinet above the sink, "try something else, as well."

I eagerly nod and begin to stand up, then stop. Do I really want to die? Would Louis want this? What about mum and Gems? She must've known what I was thinking, for she speaks up.

"Harry, Harry, Harry. Stop overthinking this. You know what you have to do. He's waiting! Louis's waiting! You know you no longer wish to live. I know it. You know it. And it's okay! Just let go."

I ponder her words for a second before deciding that she is right. "You're right, yes." I say and stand up, brushing past her to get to the medicine cabinet.

I open the cabinet, and thank the heavens, there is an abundant of prescription pills. I grab a few bottles, reading their labels for what they contain. There is Vicodin and two forms of sleeping pills; one 700mg, the other 500mg. I take the Vicodin and 700mg bottles, sitting back down and popping open their child proof lids.

There is seemingly thirty-ish pills in each bottle, and I begin to take all of them. I'm not paying attention to what they are, just as long as they make it inside of my bloodstream.

"That's it, Harry. Keep going. You're almost there." she cheers and checks her reflection. I look down at my blood stained hands, and begin to feel the effects of the medicine. My head is going in circles and beginning to feel numb.

"Fuck." I mutter, cursing my damned self.

I've got one bottle down; there were thirty four.

One more bottle.

I begin taking the pills, and I already know that I'm close. I just keep swallowing them, not even bothering with the stickiness of my throat. These pills are green; Louis' favorite color. "Why the fuck are you noticing this, Harry?" I ask myself out of frustration. I grab a blade and make a vertical mark down the entire length of my arm, causing blood to rush out.

My mind is racing. My head is numb. I can barely feel my body. My heart beats are less frequent. My breathing is shallow.

"Let go. It's okay." she whispers to me.

"Lou-"