Tom Holland, The man behind the mask

9. Almost, but not quite.

I waited three agonising days for him to phone. I stopped eating. I stopped sleeping. I kept my mobile charged and never more than a meter away from me.
He didn't call and he didn't call and he didn't call.
(Y/F/N) - who had of course seen me give him my number - asked what was going on. At first i tried to pretend we were just going to meet up to talk about the movie. But (Y/F/N) saw through that straight away. So i fessed up.
I desperately needed to tell someone. And (Y/F/N) - despite her cynical attitude to boys and dating - was the best person. She might not understand Tom. But she had more experience than anyone else i knew. And i knew i could trust her advice.
"Be cool," she said. "If he's interested he will ring."
I didn't think it was that simple. I knew he was interested. He'd shown me that several times.
He called, finally.
"Hi," he said.
My stomach flipped over at the sound of his voice.
"Hi," I said, trying to sound casual. "Finished on set?"
"Yeah." He sounded exhausted. "Frigging ridiculous people - d'know what stunts they are expecting me to do! It's stupid."
There was a short silence.
"So, d'you wanna meet up at the weekend?" He said.
"Sure." My mouth was dry.
"Maybe we could go for coffee again?" He said. "On Sunday?"
"Okay," I said. "The same place?"
"I was thinking the park," Tom said. "Priory park. That little cafe'll be open. D'you wanna meet there? Say at three?"
"Sure."
We didn't talk much after that. It was too awkward. But i didn't care. I had what i wanted. I had a date. A first date.
I spent ages deciding what to wear. I hadn't intended to ask (Y/F/N) for advice but, in the end, i had to tell her i was seeing Tom - she'd been asking me every hour if he had called. Anyway, from there it was a small step to the inevitable discussion about clothes and makeup.
In the end I settled on jeans and a soft, slightly fitted top. The top was quite smart, but the jeans stopped it from looking to dressed up.
I was planning on wearing my jacket too, but when Sunday arrived it was ridiculously warm.
The cafe was crowed when i got there, I couldn't see Tom anywhere. I'd deliberately -on (Y/F/N)'s advice- arrived late. It was almost three fifteen. He should be here. Where was he?
I circled around, then came through the back of the cafe, past the toilets. I finally caught sight of Tom out the front. He was leaning against one of the tables, watching a couple of tall, slim girls walk past. He turned his head, following them all the way round to the empty concrete paddling pool which stood centre of the cafe foreground.
Then he looked up and saw me. He smiled, but I couldn't smile back. My confidence was dribbling out of my shoes. No way could I compete with girls like that.
He strode over, his face all concerned.
"Hey." He said uncertainly. "Are you alrighty?"
I nodded. I knew i should say something witty and light. But I couldn't. It was just hitting me how mad i was being. Tom was so extraordinary. He was a brilliant actor. He was charismatic. He was good looking. No way was i even in his league. I might as well go home now.
"(Y/N)?" Tom sounded really concerned now. "What is it?"
I looked up, into his beautiful eyes. He was concentrating on me so hard, it was like the rest of the world didn't exist. It didn't for me anyway.
"I'm fine" i said.
But Tom was staring at me, pulling the truth out of me with his eyes.
He frowned. "No, you're not. What is it?"
I decided to act all confident and sassy. Bluff it out.
"I'm fine," i repeated, arching my eyebrows in a way that i hoped was both knowing and attractive. "I was just wondering why it is that guys always look at hot girls."
I forced a light laugh, to imply this was an idle thought - of no real importance
Tom stared at me. He said nothing, just raised his eyebrows.
"You know," i went on. "It's that way they can't help but look, if a girls attractive. Like .... like there's something programmed into their heads or something"
"Not in their heads." Tom grinned. He was still staring at me. Reading me. "Why don't you think you're hot?" He said slowly.
He'd seen right through me. Right to the heart of what i was thinking. I couldn't believe it. My heart pounded.
"What are you talking about?" I said airily.
Tom reached out of my wrist and held it lightly in his hand.
"What on earth do you think is wrong with the way you look?" He said, frowning.
I couldn't believe he was asking me. I couldn't believe we'd gotten into a conversation this heavy with in seconds of meeting. I shrugged, wishing he'd stop looking at me. Bu the didn't. He was waiting for my answer.
"Oh, come on," i said, making a face. "I'm not exactly built like a supermodel." I tried to make it sound like i didn't really care. But i knew i wasn't fooling him.
I stared at the concrete floor.
"(Y/N). Listen to me," Tom said. "You look amazing."
My face was burning. My heart pounding. Did he mean that?
"Okay, so tall, skinny girls look good in designer clothes," Tom went on. "But not everyone wants to go out with a greyhound. Some of us like ... er .. er..." He paused, frowning.
"Smaller dogs?" I met his eyes properly.
We both laughed. And suddenly all the awkwardness that I'd felt dissolved. Tom moved closer to me. He put his hand on my waist, then slid it down so that it rested on the curve of my hip. "Don't you get it? There are bodies that look good. And bodies that feel good. And then there're a few bodies that are both."
The tips of his fingers were just touching my bum.
He lowered his eyes. I could feel them burning through to my breasts and my waist and then down, down through my whole body.
I was so turned on i thought i might faint. How could i feel this connected to someone i hardly knew? My heart pounded. I had no idea what i was doing. What i was supposed to do.
A child cried out next to us. I suddenly remembered that we were standing just outside the cafe door, surrounded by other people.
Tom pressed his fingertips against my bum then let go. He smiled. "Let's go for a walk."
He took my hand and led me out of the cafe area and across the open grass. We strolled towards the narrower pathways, whose sides were high with trees and bushes. My head was spinning. My heart racing. I wanted him more that I'd ever wanted anything in my life.
Tom didn't speak as we crossed the grass, then he stopped and turned to me.
"So, d'you want to find somewhere to sit down?"
I nodded.
We turned down a narrow, secluded path. After a couple of meters Tom stepped off the path and ducked under a tree, tugging me gently after him. We emerged into a little space hidden between trees and bushes and sat down. The ground was mostly earth, covered in twigs and bits of leaves.
Tom's eyes gleamed, dark brown, in the shadows of the trees and bushes. He moved forward, and kissed my mouth. It was different to the kiss on set. Deeper and sexier. His tongue flickered round mine. Reading me. Just like his eyes had read me earlier.
I wasn't massively experienced, but this was, by miles, the best kiss I'd ever had.
In a whole different kissing league, in fact.
His hand ran down my side, along my back. I put my arms round his and he pulled me closer.
I gasped as his hands moved over me. I heard myself groan - like the noise was coming from far away. His hands were everywhere now, like they were trying to hold me all at once. Running up front, and down my back an under my top and across my stomach, and my top half pushed up was clawing at him too, pulling him towards me, and he was breathing hard and then his hands moved down... over my jeans ... fumbling for the zip.
No.
It was like someone had thrown a bucket of cold water over me. This was to much. Too fast.
"Stop," i said.
For a split second he froze, then whipped his hands off of me.
I wriggled away. He sat back.
I turned away, my fingers now trembling as I straightened my top. I couldn't believe I'd got so carried away. Now we'd stopped i could hear people on the path a couple of meters away. I brushed at the back of my head, dusting earth and twigs out of my hair.
"I'm sorry." He knelt in front of me, his eyes all guarded. "I don't know what to say... I'm sorry..."
"It's okay." I bit my lip. God, (Y/F/N) had been right. He had gone after sex on the first date. But then so had i. I'd been so gone - so out of my head...
"That was scary." The words came out without me meaning to say them. I hunched over my knees, feeling humiliated. I didn't want him to know how intensely I'd just felt just then - how much I'd wanted him. Suddenly i felt raw, like he'd peeled my skin away. I covered my face with my hands. I didn't want to feel such powerful things.
Then i felt his hand on my shoulder.
"(Y/N)?" His voice was shaky.
I looked up. There were tears in his eyes. I swear to god. Real tears.
"I didn't hurt you, did i?"
I shook my head, this massive lump in my throat.
"No. I just...i..."I forced a smile. "I bet Peter and Liz didn't have this trouble."
Tom smiled back. "To busy talking."
"Maybe we should try that," I said.
Tom gazed at me for a long moment. Then he sighed.
"I hate being in this freaking movie," he said.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------HE HATES BEING IN THE MOVIE?😧
I wonder what's going to happen next ....
-L✨