Nostalgic

one

6:10
I stood looking at myself in the mirror, cocking my head to the side and studying all of my features carefully. Who was i really? Was i Mary Harper or somebody else.

I quickly blinked my irrelevant thoughts away and brushed my teeth. I took night showers so i would have more time in the morning. I wasn't one of the girls in the books that are like "i hated wearing makeup it made me feel dirty i liked looking natural" blah blah blah. I liked makeup. Actually i wanted to go to cosmetology school after high school and get my license. I liked looking nice.

I did everything i normally do and ate breakfast. talked with my sisters and said goodbye to my mother before i walked to school. it was only a 15 minute walk.

When i got to school i went and sat in my first period. we were supposed to sit in the gym, but i hated sitting around tons of people, so mrs. Simon let me sit in there. We were supposed to read 40 books by the end of the year and i know that's a dumb goal, but i had nothing better to do. Plus books got my mind off things.

I loved steven king books and currently i was reading IT.

The bell rang for first period and soon the class was filling up with people. I knew all of them, but i was only friends with a few. My circle was small.

My friend andrea sat next to me and started telling me about a few new kids at our school.

"Well there's a girl named Brooke and a boy named Mathew. Brooke is in grade 9 and Mathew is in our grade! I heard he's really cute."

I smiled at her and started to listen to what our teacher was telling us. Usually she tells us our assignments for the week so we can write them down and not forget. i'm a very organized person so this is helpful. I payed attention in classes and tried to keep my head down. I'm not a loser, but i'm not popular. Everybody just kinda.. knows me i guess. Most of my friends are boys, we get along better. My best friends name is Nathan, but everybody calls him buddy. Sometimes when i'm lonely i walk over to his house and we'll have sleepovers. We aren't a couple, he's just always been there when i need somebody.

Soon class was over and it was already the end of 4th period. Which meant lunch time. Now, i know i said i don't like people, but i love my friends dearly. Also Nathan always brings me hella food.

"Hey guys, who's this?" i directed my attention to the new boy.

"oh" andrea smiled. "This is matthew, isn't he a cutie?"

He was indeed cute, but he didn't talk much.

"Mary? Can i talk to you? Privately?" it was jackson. He hadn't talked to me in a month and now all of a sudden he just wants to come back and say hello or something hell no.

"Sure." i rolled my eyes. Not at him, at myself. I've never said no to him and i guess i'm not starting today. Nathan looked livid so i mouthed an "it will be okay" to him. Me and jackson made our way to the hallway but i knew Nathan would follow behind cause he's nosey and protective.

"Listen, i know what happened was wrong-"

"Yeah it was, i don't want your apology you've done enough. i won't forgive you, i'm sorry. Thank you for wasting my time, now i must get back to lunch."

"you're babbling, it's cute."

shut up, shut up, shut up.

"Goodbye jackson." i walked away, only i walked into the girls bathroom with tears in my eyes.

2 years. i loved him for two years. And he cheated on me with my friend.

she seduced me
i was drunk
i'm sorry
it was an accident

i've heard them all. I was going to take him back i really was, but Nathan talked sense into me. Oh and after i left him he *tried* to expose me by telling everybody that i was easy and all this shit.

Now tears were pouring down my face and that familiar feeling came back. I missed him so much. I missed being happy and being able to let loose. I miss it all.

"where's the urinals... OH oh shit i'm so sorry this is my first day, okay i'll just leave. Wait, are you crying?" It was the new boy Matthew.

I wiped my eyes and looked down.

"No..."

"Yea you are."

"No i'm not, get out why are you in the girls bathroom anyways."

"Listen, if you need to talk to somebody i'm here Mary." He handed me a slip of paper with his number on it then left.

I fixed my makeup and my hair. I walked back into the cafeteria with pride. Like nothing happened.

"What happened??" Everybody at my table was asking.

"He just wanted his hoodie back, so i went to my locker and gave it to him, that's all." i lied. i didnt even feel bad. Matthew and Nathan were the only ones who knew what had happened.

-

Soon school was over and i was walking off school campus when i heard footsteps running up behind me.

"Hey, wait." It was Matthew i could tell by his voice.

"So you're following me now?" i asked rudely.

"No, actually. I live right next to you, i saw you leaving this morning. Okay wait that sounded stalkerish, sorry i just moved in."

"Oh, so you're the guy who leaves his window open when he takes his clothes off..."

"Wait, i do?"

"No, im joking."

We talked the rest of the way home, it was nice.

He was nice.