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Box I - Part V

"Take a seat." The man says. I obey. The seat is small and hard. The large wooden desk reaches my chin, and I crane my neck looking at the man sitting comfortably on his leather chair with Miss Amik standing by his side. The room is not very big, but not too small either. Pictures are hanged of landscapes: mountains, forests, even the city, all suspended neatly in a straight line. The man has a shaved face, his eyes are hazel, and he has a receding hairline.
"Let me start by introducing myself. You will address me as Sir Suldan. I am the Head of the home. Most people don't see me, because I entrust the teachers to relay my orders to you, the students. A command you've all heard about is the social conduct rules in this house which must be obeyed at all times." He says. Miss Amik looks down to her feet while he continues, "One of the main, one of the biggest rules we have taught you, is how to live together. How to make this place a welcoming, safe home for all of you to enjoy. However Shujaaca, I believe you have broken one of these rules, haven't you?" Sir asks. There is a pause. He probably wants me to nod my head and stay silent through the scolding, then accept whatever punishment they have planned. In any other circumstances, that is what I would have done. This time however, I did nothing wrong.
"I haven't." I say, "I haven't broken any rules, I mean."
Miss Amik looks up at me, surprise clearly visible in her eyes. Sir Suldan shifts in his seat.
"You don't believe that scarring one of the other children's faces enough to make them bleed is breaking a rule?" He comes closer, resting his elbows on the desk, his eyes analysing me.
"I didn't do it." I say, much more confidently than I really am. He doesn't react for a moment, then smiles.
"And I expect the 'monster', did it now, isn't that right?" He looks up at Miss Amik expecting her to carry the same amused look. She just looks sad. He turns back to face me.
"Look, we know about the whole monster affair. Don't think for one second that we will accept that as an excuse for harming another student in this establishment. We simply will not toler-"
"I didn't say the monster did it. I said I didn't." I try to explain but he bangs his hands on the table. The sound makes both me and Miss Amik jump. He is angry, his ears are beginning to redden.
"Do. Not. Interrupt me." He says. I look down. The tears previously wiped as I entered the office came back with a revenge. They fall down my checks like a long-flowing stream while Sir Suldan continues to speak.
"You are on cleaning duty. You will also miss half your breaks until the end of the year. You will also apologise to Hazaa for the disgusting thing you have done. Do I make myself clear?" He says. I don't reply, but continue to cry. Why does no one ever listen to the other side of the story? Why do they always side with the big people? The people in power? I am put to my feet, and gently pushed to the door by Miss Amik. I don't look at anyone anymore. Their faces are all a blur.
Besides, I've accepted that no matter what, whether it be in a social setting, school scores or this, no matter what, I'll always be in the wrong in people's eyes.

Miss Amik takes me to the canteen where everyone is calmly eating lunch. I enter, and there is an immediate shift in atmosphere. I look around and find Hazaa staring at me just like everyone else. Miss Amik gently pushes me towards him. When we are at close proximity, I clear my throat.
"I'm sorry for...what has happened to your face." I look down in embarrassment. "I mean, I'm sorry for...doing that. And I would really appreciate it if you would accept this apology." I finish. There is a pause, people processing what they've heard. Then they all look at Hazaa expectantly. He notices this too, and straightens his back.
"You're eh, you're forgiven." He declares in a loud and clear voice. Miss Amik nods her head, and I collect my food and sit at my lone table.
Looking at Hazaa, he is surrounded by others.
"That was so kind of you." One of the girls say.
"I wouldn't have done that if someone did this to my face." Says Abala making a fist and rubbing it against her other hand.
"Really mature of you, man." Says one of the boys.
They've all accepted it. Accepted me as the culprit.
The bell rings and they all go back out after finishing eating. I look at my plate. Pasta and some weird but nice sauce. I'm not hungry.
I hate this. I hate Hazaa. I hate my school. I hate my home. I hate my lack of friends. I hate myself for being so pathetic and weak. Even now I'm still crying.
I guess I am a baby after all.
Something taps my shoulder and I turn around.
Haloo is there looking very concerned.
"The monster did it, yes?" She asks.
"I...don't even know Haloo." I admit, sniffing my nose. She looks a little bit disappointed, but the look is gone in a second. Replaced.
"Here you go!" She says gleefully. She places a coin on my lap. "To help you if you are on debt." She says. The word 'debt' rolls out of her tongue awkwardly, but she's getting better at speaking. I look at my lap and inspect the coin. It's a real 2p coin. Useless. But still, looking at her now, she looks at me like someone who cares.
I've been missing that look for two years.
"Thank you." I say, and start crying even more. She pats my back.
"It will get better, okay?"
I nod.
She quickly hugs me from the side, and runs away to the break area.
I look at the coin.
It has a bright copper colour. There is the face of the King on one side, looking very bored, might I add. I don't know where she found the coin, but it's nice to have it. It won't give me some extra power or will, but some very needed motivation.
Someone clears their throat in front of me. Yahmii sits opposite me.
"You better look after that," he continues, "she looked after this coin for years now." He looks around the canteen, then back at me. He stands up and sits on my left. "Don't. Move." He whispers. I sit still. What is he going to do to me? Slowly, he pulls out something short and rectangle shaped covered in white tissue. He slips in into my pocket.
"Listen very carefully. You will go to sleep on your own bed tonight. If Hazaa won't move, I'll move him. I don't know how you stay up to see it, but you'll do it again. What I gave up," he taps my pocket, "cannot be seen by anyone. Hide it in your pillow case now. Only take it out when that thing comes. Do you understand?" He says.
"By it and thing do you mean the monst-"
"Don't. Don't...say that word." He gets up and leaves.

I feel blank. I don't like it. I'm always last and always forgotten unless people take pity on me. This will end. A new me has to emerge. Someone brave and loved with friends to play with. Someone smart and good looking. I will change.

And I will start that, by killing the monster.