phoney [d. criss]

1//You're Funny

You have 1 new message from DCboy
*

Hey sweetie xx can I come over tonight?

I'd say yes to that in an instant
But you most likely don't know where I live
Also who are you??

Fuck I must've put in the wrong number

Lol

Lol?

Yes, lol

Okay then...

I'm glad you're getting a kick out of this
But you still haven't answered my question

?

Who are you?

I'd rather not say

Ooooo so for all I know you could be a 36 y.o. man trying to win over my trust so you can rape me later on

Very imaginative
But I wouldn't try to do that

Why?

I'm taken. Why rape someone when I can get pleasure whenever I want

Wanky
Now answer the question

I'd still rather not

Meanie

:D

Fine. At least tell me; are you a guy or a girl?
Or neither, I don't judge

That's nice to know :D
But I'm a guy

I couldn't say the same
So who were you trying to text before you stumbled across my amazingness?

Isn't it obvious?

Follow the script dude! I'm trying to gain some insight into your life. At least follow along.

Alright I was *trying* to text my partner

Give me more...

You're funny :D

Nope, I'm Angie
And this is the part where you say "I'm..."

"I'm..."

Smartass

Nosy

Why wouldn't I be?
Look at it like it is; a 36 y.o. man was trying to text his partner but accidentally texted me instead. Now being the curious ass I am, I want to know more

30

What?

I'm 30. Not 36.

See!! NOW we are getting somewhere

So how old are you?

Why would I tell you?

Because I told you

Ya but I had to squeeze it out of you like a stubborn pimple

:D

wHaT?

Nice metaphor

I live for metaphors. Without them I'd be dead
I'm 25 by the way

See!! NOW we are getting somewhere

You bastard

That I am.

So tell me

Tell you what?

Anything

Like...

Your deepest darkest secrets
Or we can start at favorite celebrity

You first

Why?

I can leave

You backstabbing prick

Feisty much?

:/
Alright I'll go first
Darren Criss

Wait what?

DO YOU NOT KNOW WHO HE IS

No I do.

Then why "wait what"?

No reason

Weird. So who's yours?

You'll never believe

Tell me anyway

Are you sure?

I swear I will stab a bitch

Fine, fine
Chris Colfer
I hope you're happy now

Wickedly happy ;p
But why him?

Oh I have to go I'm so sorry. But this was wickedly fun. Tomorrow?

Tomorrow it is, 36 y.o. rapist