"Your skin isn't paper, don't cut it.
Your face isn't a mask, don't cover it.
Your image isn't a book, don't judge it.
Your life isn't a film, don't end it.
You are beautiful. You are authentic.
There's no one else like you."
Nakatingin ako sa malayo habang hawak-hawak ang family picture namin. Namiss ko ang pamilya ko. Namiss ko ang dating pamilya na napuno ng pagmamahalan at kasiyahan sa isa't isa. Ang dating pamilya na nagdadamayan. Ang dating pamilya na nagtutulungan. At ang dating pamilya na aking kinalakihan.
Pero sa lahat ng kasiyahan, may kalungkutan. Sa lahat ng shooting star na dadaan sa kalangitan, lahat biglang mawawala. Sa lahat ng bahag-hari na lalabas pagkatapos ng ulan, unti-unting mawawala na parang bula.
I'm already in my turning point. Ayoko na. Hindi ko na kaya. Matagal na akong nagtitiis at tao lang ako - napapagod. Masakit sa kalooban ang pagsuko ko pero eto nalang ang natitira kong choice. Ayoko nang lumaban nang mag-isa. Ayoko nang harapin ang lahat habang tinatalikuran na ako ng lahat. Ayoko na. Nakakapagod na.
For the last time, everything flashed in my mind as I closed my eyes. Mommy was a successful business tycoon and so was Daddy. We belong in the top level of the society. Lahat ng gusto namin ni Kuya Gerald, nabibigay nila in just one snap of our fingers. I didn't grow up being a bighead but Kuya Gerald was the opposite. Still, we lived a happy life. We never experienced hardships. We were enrolled in the most prestigious school in our place. Mamahalin lahat ng gamit ko at may weekly allowance pa kami. Wala akong problema sa pag-aaral kaya all I did is to become the top student in my class. Bawat taon umaakyat ng stage si Mommy at Daddy dahil sa mga awards ko. I'm a consistent top student nung elementary and I was the valedictorian of my batch in high school. On the other hand, Kuya Gerald's the worst rebel kid you'll ever imagine. Iiyak ang araw kapag hindi sya nare-report sa Guidance Office. All throughout his elementary and high school years, nasasangkot sya sa iba't ibang klase ng gulo. Nung una, mga classmates nya ang binu-bully nya - sinasapak, sinusuntok, tinutulak at minsan gugulpihin pa nya. Hanggang sa high school years nya ay sinasagot-sagot at minsan ay minumura nya yung teachers nya. Nakipagsuntukan pa sya sa school security personnel at inabangan pa nya pagkatapos para gulpihin uli. At the age of 16 ay gumagala na sya sa mga inuman at clubs. As usual may nakakasuntukan, minsan hinahampas pa nya ng botelya sa ulo ang mga kaaway nya. But with all his bad deeds, kinunsinte lahat ng yun ni Papa. Dinadaan sa areglo ang iba at ginagamit nya ang kanyang impluwensya at pera.
Akala ko magbabago na si Kuya simula nung mamatay si Mommy but I was wrong. Yes, he did changed but he became worse. I was only 17 and he was only 19 nang mawala si Mommy. Dinamdam naming lahat ang pagkamatay nya dahil sa breast cancer at dun nagbago ang lahat.
Tatlong buwan lang ang lumipas simula nung mamatay si Mommy at huminto sya sa pag-aaral. Gabi-gabing gumagala at umiinom. Umuuwi nang may kasa-kasamang babae at dinadala nya sa kwarto nya at bawat gabi, iba-ibang babae ang kanyang kasama. Daddy was so devastated by our loss that he exposed his self too much from work but he end up losing our family business even the company. After he filed bankruptcy, nalulong narin sya sa alcohol at sa sugal. Lahat ng savings namin, naubos. Naging bonding nila Kuya ang pag-iinom, pagkakama ng babae hanggang nagkasundo na sila sa paggamit ng droga.
And when all these things were happening, I'm starting to lock myself in my room. I learned to live with my own without depending on them. I applied for a part-time job so I can sustain my daily needs while I applied for a scholarship so I have nothing to worry about my tuition fees. When I'm at the campus, I feel lonely since all my so-called friends turn their backs in me when they knew about what happened to my family. And when I'm at home, I feel lonelier. I can hear their noises outside my room. My father and my brother became addicts and I don't know if they're still the person I call my family.
