Not Meant to Bee

Chapter 1

Marinette slumped her shoulders forward as she sat on the bed. Her head spun with uneasy thoughts and guilt. It hurt her to keep telling Chat Noir that she didn't see him as more than a friend, but she felt it were the truth.

If she loved him as more than a friend, she wouldn't feel so strongly about Adrien Agreste, the boy she's been crushing on for the past three years.

If she loved him more than a friend, her heart wouldn't hurt, it wouldn't give her nausea and make her head spin to even remotely consider the idea of giving up on the kind boy who's been there for her, even when things weren't so easy for him.

If she loved him more than a friend, she'd be able to stop thinking about the boy who showed her what was withheld in his heart the moment they truly connected, and she saw the world in those emerald green eyes.

Marinette loved Adrien Agreste, and she wouldn't stop. Of course, she did love and care for her partner, but not in the way that she did for Adrien.

"Tikki, is it fair of me to crush Chat Noir's love for me?" Marinette asked, her voice low as she hung her head guiltily at the memory of her partner's face when she told him that she didn't feel the same way.

"Marinette, you don't have to keep feeling guilty. I know it hurts, but heartbreak is a human emotion. You wouldn't want to keep leading Chat Noir on if it would hurt him more in the end. It was best to tell him sooner then later," her kwami attempted to reassure her holder. Tikki's bright blue eyes met Marinette's despondent ones, and of course she couldn't take another moment of seeing such a normally jubilant girl with a heavyhearted demeanor. The kwami flew up to hug the girl, comforting her to the best of her abilities.

"H-His face... he looked like a kicked kitten. I-I hated seeing my poor partner so hurt, and it was all because I don't feel the same way. I should've said what he wanted to hear. I should've said I- I should've said I liked-" Marinette began to whimper, her eyes filling with tears of dread and remorse.

His kicked-kitten face was stained in her mind after she confessed that she didn't feel the same. The way his eyes grew with anguish, the way they widened and his mouth fell silent, the way his smile fell; she couldn't bear another moment of it, so she didn't. Ladybug ran across the rooftops, leaving him behind with rejection fresh in the air.

She regretted it so much, and she couldn't think of going back to face him again. It would destroy the both of them, her with guilt, and him with heartbreak.

Tikki wiped her tears as they slipped down her face uncontrollably. Marinette was now crying loudly, holding her knees to her chest as the flashback kept replaying like a nonstop horror movie.

"No, no Marinette! That would've been lying if you told him that you liked him. It would hurt both of you more in the end, and I can't stand to see you like that. I love you so much," Tikki held her holder's chin up with her small fins, using her strength.

"I sh-shouldn't even love Adrien!" Marinette cried, making her heart burn with more regret for saying that, for considering not loving the boy. He needed love, and she wanted to be there for him.

"You're following your heart! You don't give up on the people you love, and that's something I admire about you! You love Adrien, and you have for a while now. There's nothing wrong with following your heart," the kwami reassured her, gently pulling her now-loose hair bands out from her pigtails, then running her fins through her hair.

"Following my heart... it's hurting Chat! It's hurting my partner, and I do love him! I just... I don't love him romantically, but I love him so much as a friend! I care about him!" Marinette sobbed, her shoulders shaking as her lips formed into an opened-mouth cringe.