The Bad Boy's Nerd

7: Longing for Help

*Amiya's POV*

I feel someone beside me. They are holding my waist and breathing slowly in my ear.

I open my eyes slowly, not really sure what to do. I move the person's hand and look over to see that it's my boyfriend sleeping peacefully in my bed.

I wake him up by kissing his neck softly and he groans but smiles. He opens his eyes and stares at me, still smiling.

"Good morning, sunshine. How did you sleep?" I didn't answer but faked a grin.

He, of course, knew that something was up.

"What's wrong? Did something happen last night?" He suspects. I still didn't answer and tried to walk away, but he grabbed my arm and I winced.

I had on long sleeves to cover up my cuts.

He rolled up the sleeves to see what was hurting me, and he looked at them and back at me with a frown.

"Amiya, my love, why would you do this to yourself? This isn't a way to escape pain; it brings more." I look at him and frown back, and tears start to fall down my cheek.

He hugs me, and picks me up from my waist on to his lap, cradling me like a child. I cried for a long time until I could barely see from the puffiness of my eyes.

"Baby...what happened?" He finally asked with a sigh.

"My mom came home early yesterday, and I forgot your stuff was here. She asked me why your stuff was here, and I gave up and told her we had sex because of all the guilt that started to build up. She was disappointed in me for the first time, and I could see it in her eyes. I couldn't tell her anything to make her forgive me. She needs a daughter who is trustworthy and I'm not that daughter."

I cried even more and he dried my tears from my cheeks. He didn't say anything after that until 5 minutes passed.

"Amiya, you are not that daughter because no one is. You are allowed to make mistakes in life. Every person on this planet has, including daughters. You are a daughter who is loving, kind, and strong, but you are not strong when you do this to yourself or when you give up. I know you, Amiya, and I know that you, of all people, aren't a diappointment."

I grin a little and lay my head on his shoulder.

"Since it's Saturday want to go on a small breakfast date, my love?" He puts me down and fixes my bed.

I nod my head and start to get ready. I pick out my pink Adidas shirt, shorts (they're really booty shorts), and my pink and white Adidas. Because of my cuts, I get a denim jacket from the closet.

I fix my hair into a ponytail and get a pink bandana to tie around it. I put on some bracelets that Sofia got me and put my sunglasses in my purse.

I walk out and he's waiting patiently with his phone. He's wearing a blue flannel shirt and blue jeans with blue and white vans.

While getting my phone off the floor, Jake smacks my ass hard and turns me around. I hit his arm and he laughs. I grab his chin and kiss him. He's taken off guard for a second but soon kisses me back.

I moan a little and bite his lip. He smiles and says, "Wow, aren't you being a little freaky today."

I walk downstairs and see that my mom is there. I go up to her and she gets up and walks outside to the deck. She closes the patio door behind her.

I walk to the car and wait for Jake to come. He looks at me and I don't want to say anything about it. He drives to iHop without saying a word to me.

He helps me out of the car and goes inside to get us a table. I walk to the table and look at the menu.

Usually, I get the Red Velvet Pancakes and the Smokehouse Combo with my...

Never mind.

He finally breaks the silence after a long period of time. "Amiya, do you want to talk about it?" I look at him and then stare back at the menu.

I look at him, still ignoring him. The waiter comes to the table and asks us what to eat, while staring at me up and down. I notice and cough, making a signal to Jake, but of course, he doesn't get it.

Guys are so stupid, I think. He's about to get so mad.

"Is that all you guys want?" Jake notices, finally, what the waiter is doing.

"Yeah just one more thing," Jake says.

"What's that?"

"I want you to stop looking at my girl." I look at Jake, about to laugh, while the waiter walks away.

"I tried warn you sooner, but since you're slow ...," I say, while laughing.

"Shut up."
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The food finally comes after twenty minutes. It probably would've been sooner if it was burgers.

We end up eating quickly, but I notice him looking at my arm every once in a while.

"Just tell me that whatever it is, you will always come to me? It pains me to have you do this to yourself, my love."

"I promise."

We finish up and pay for the food. We go to the car, and he breaks the silence.

"Have you done it before? Cut like that?"

"When I was bullied by Anita a lot, I started to, and I continued for a while, but this time, I relapsed. I don't like doing it, but I thought that it could, you know, help in some way."

He nods sadly and starts driving to a familiar place in by the city: the beach.

We walk to the boardwalk, onto the sand where he starts to open up to me for the first time.

"When I was in middle school, I did the same thing you did, but one day, I wanted my life to end completely. My mom found me in my room and took me to the hospital. I stayed in a mental hospital for a few weeks until I was better, I guess. Today is my 3rd year cut-free. Amiyah, the point is I don't want you to do this at all. If you need help, just speak to someone, my love."

I start to look at him and look down, starting to cry, except it's not like any normal one; I can feel the weight of my guilt and pain come down on my eyes.

He hugs me, and we stand there in the sand. Crying and hugging.

At least I know I'll be okay.

Or so I thought

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I know. I haven't updated in a while, but here's a sucky chapter about sucky topics.

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