Poetry

Sanity

TRIGGER WARNING!

It's there,
It's gone,
It's there,
and then it's gone again,
words,
they leave and they come, 
It's there,
You can feel the words, 
bubbling up in your insides,
in your throat even, 
and then, 
It's gone,
something bad happens,
you can't talk,
you can't eat,
you can't sleep,
everything,
everything is just,
it's just gone,
you stop sitting by your friends, 
you stop talking to people,
you literally can't keep anything in your stomach,
you try to shower,
but you turn into a weeping mess on the tub floor,
you try to pay attention in class,
you really do,
but you can't,
the words,
the numbers,
they scramble in your head,
you are alienated to them,
you try to read,
but the words jump off the page,
then,
suddenly,
thoughts,
they rush into your head,
first thought,
you picture yourself jumping off a bridge,
second thought,
this time it's a water tower,
then there's overdosing,
and drowning,
and hanging from the ceiling,
then,
you just stop feeling altogether
you start hanging out with the so-called "bad influences",
you change friends weekly,
then daily,
then you don't know what your doing,
they aren't your friends,
they don't even like you,
they tolerate you,
then you then you just drop all friends,
fake or real,
altogether,
then something happens,
something good,
things get better, 
you make new friends or you get your old ones back,
you socialize,
you talk,
you eat,
you sleep,
no more worries,
right?,
wrong,
no matter what happens though,
the world still turns,
it doesn't stop for you, 
and it doesn't stop for anyone else,
you die,
it turns,
your sad,
it turns,
you attempt,
it turns,
you live,
it turns,
your happy,
it TURNS,
no matter what,
it turns,
everything you do,
it's just a time filler,
everything,
everything is just an illusion,
you don't know what's real or what's not,
you just know what your told,
what you learn,
how do you know,
how do people know if it's even real,
it's all an illusion,
nobody know for sure that what they know is real,
for all you know everything is made up,
I mean, 
somebody had to make something up for people to grasp onto,
for there to be sanity,
words,
they are fake too,
I mean,
what's the point,
all the definitions,
all the numbers,
all the words,
everything,
It's all made up,
something for people to grasp onto,
something to maintain sanity,
if sanity is even a thing,
I don't think it is

A/N
Sorry all my poems are depressing but this is a non fiction poetry thing so they all have to do with something in my life  or that happened in real life