Praying for An Answer

Weekend Write-In for 28 July 2017

           

The last chords of the organ had faded several minutes before, as had the footsteps of the parishioners filing from their wooden pews and out the large double doors into the Sunday morning sunshine.  Evette remained with her head bowed, eyes closed tight.  If a passer-by looked closely enough they'd see the slight movement of her lips as she prayed with an intensity brought by enormous passion and guilt.

"Mrs. Sawyer, mass is over and I will need to lock up."  The kindly voice beside her cracked her resolve not to shed any tears, and a solitary drop of salty despair traveled over her cheek.  She swiped at it with the back of her hand and made the Sign of the Cross before getting to her feet. 

"Thank you, Father Mike, I'm sorry if I kept you."  Evette offered him a weak smile as she slid past the elderly priest. 

His gnarly arthritic hand on her shoulder halted her retreat.  "If you need to speak to someone, you know I'm always available, and so is the Lord."

She nodded afraid her voice would display more than she was willing to share.  On unsteady legs, Evette Sawyer moved towards the front vestibule.  No one could know her secret.  No one could know how she had broken the commandments she lived by or the sacred vows she'd taken.  She was weak and unworthy to set foot within the brick walls of the church. 

Why hadn't a bolt of lightning struck her down as soon as she set foot on the steps?

She had a decision to make--stay with her husband or divorce him and see if she had a future with another man.  Her husband wasn't perfect.  He ignored her, had been unfaithful, but he was a good provider and the father of their children.  Her life was routine, lonely, but comfortable in its blandness.

She had met a man at the homeless shelter where she volunteered.  They'd chatted over coffee several times.  Evette looked forward to those moments all week.  She started to daydream about the man and wondered what it might be like to kiss him.  She was treading on unsteady ground. 

Her friend asked her to dinner.  She floated home thinking of a lie to tell her husband, so she could explain why she was having dinner out without him.  She was never good with lies.  It was wrong, no matter how the man she'd married had acted in the past.

Evette walked across the church parking lot to her Mini Cooper, pulled out her cellphone and leaned back against the car with her finger poised above the screen.  Her husband's face flashed onto the screen and she swiped her finger across it to answer.

"Hello."

"Evette, I really need you to come home.  It's an emergency.  Where are you?"

"I'm at church.  What's wrong?  Are the kids okay?"

"I don't want to talk over the phone.  Get home."  He hung up. 

Her hands shook as she made a snap decision.  Her family's needs had to be above her own.  She found the contact she wanted and spoke softly.  Near tears, Evette ended the call with, "I'm so sorry.  I did want to meet you for dinner."

She drove home as quickly as possible uncertain what type of chaos she would find when she arrived.  No ambulance or police cars in sight.  Her husband's Mercedes sat in the driveway.  She pulled up beside it, and hurried into the house, pausing at the suitcases in the foyer.

"I'm home.  Why are these suit..."

"Finally.  What took you so long?"  Her husband of 27 years stood with his hands fisted on his hips and a look of irritation wrinkling his brow.  "It doesn't matter.  You're here.  I'm leaving you, Evette.  I'm not happy and I'm in love with someone else.  I didn't want to tell you over the phone.  My lawyer will be getting in touch with you."

The years of misgivings, insecurity, guilt and sadness rushed to the surface.  She wanted to hurt him as much as he had hurt her over the years.  It was a good thing she didn't have a gun or knife in her hands at this moment.  Then, she caught a glimpse of herself in the hall mirror.  She was alarmed at the sight, but instead of dissolving into tears, she started laughing.

Her cheating hubby didn't look happy with her emotional upheaval.  "Get a grip on yourself, Evette."

"Oh, I want to thank you for doing the one thing I didn't have the nerve to do.  Your leaving is a prayer answered.  Go!  I've got some calls to make."  Evette walked away already dialing her phone.  Her plans had changed.