moonlight

bonus writings

wrote these on my mission trip, info in my story The Good Life.

written from the perspective of the boy.

~~~~

i can't breathe.

i shouldn't breathe.

i am a waste of space,

and he told me so.

so i'll kick my stool out from underneath,

and the noise will tighten around my neck.

i won't breathe.

i can't do this anymore.

~~~~

the taste of blood is strong,

and i know i'm bleeding.

he yells at me to get up,

so i do.

i don't think it ends.

i want to die,

i wish someone knew,

i wish they could help,

i wish-

no.

wishes are for babies,

and i'm not mom's baby anymore.

~~~

pain.

it's such a simple word, with a thousand meanings.

it's physical, it's cuts and bruises and broken bones, scrapes and headaches and blood.

it's mental, it's panicking and not knowing why, it's constantly just wanting to die.

neither is necessarily better or worse.

it's just pain.

so get over it, they say,

alas,

if only it was that easy.

~~~

i hate that you did this.

you ruined me, turned me into a monster.

i hate who i've become, one of your creations.

i barely feel human, i have no emotions.

i'm alone all the time, even when i'm not, i still am.

i hate you,

for what you've done,

to me.

~~~

Hope you enjoyed, check out my story Breathe for more like this.