What is the meaning to life?

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Dear Readers,

I don't truly think anyone knows how to describe what is going through their head. Sometimes it is a blur of emotions, other times it blank. Like a ball of clay, waiting to be shaped, and molded. Our minds get shaped by crap that goes on around us. Some people are frozen in time, impervious to the life around them. Others are making their life flow, trying so hard to rush everything around them. They don't sit and absorb everything because they're too busy escaping from their past. You can't escape from your past because it's always at the back of your head reminding you of everything you did. You wanna know what else is at the back of your head? Bad memories. You try to quash the urge to call upon those memories because you don't want to ruin your already crappy day. Any day can be a crappy day, you can't control that. No matter how hard you try, sometimes a shitty day doesn't get better. Sometimes you are listening to a song, and you pay attention to the lyrics and you understand them. Because they describe what is going n to you right then and there. Everyone has their own "Playlist of Feelings" as I like to call it. It's a group of songs that can always match your mood, because you have a couple songs for every mood. So you plug in your headphones and go onto whatever music app you use and just listen to the music while staring at your ceiling. In those seconds, minutes, or hours you stare the ceiling your unlocking your mind a teeny tiny bit more with every upbeat, downbeat,left beat, and right beat song. I'm not trying to come off as sarcastic, but I do anyways because that's how I keep myself from having depressing Word-Vomit. Word-Vomit is a spew of words with no explanation, just saying words to get them out of your system. I am aggressively Word-Vomiting right now to avoid having the feels for someone. Now back to Word-Vomit, it's not actual vomit cuz that'd would be disgusting. Vomit the the upheaval of food products in your stomach forcing its way up your throat, and spewing out of your mouth onto that super cute shirt you got from Walmart. Sarcasm is my second best language, bitch is my third. Word-Vomit, let's get back on that topic. Because talk about me is boring. The definition of word is  a group of letters strung together to formulate a word through the sounds of the letters. Right now a small voice in your head is reading these letters off to you, and you  just thought about that didn't you. Ah yes your conscience is clear or foggy, that's all up to you. A new topic? Ah yes the word conscience, the definition of that word being an inner voice that tells you whether or not you're in he wrong, the right, or the left. That's up how you interpret that sentence. This entire paragraph has been typed out by my shaky hands, because I have shit on my mind. Shit, I may add stinks just as much as an actual pile of feces. Don't get me started on another word. Word-Vomit, I am a Word-Vomit Queen/King. Blah, it's like whenever I am talking to this person I have actual Word-Vomit spewing  out of my mouth because I can barely think whenever they talk to me.

Sincerely yours, 

The Word-Vomit Queen/King