Never Say Never (Ziall FanFic) [DISCONTINUED]

Never Say Never (Ziall FanFic)

                                                                                                                                                                             NEVER SAY NEVER

 Dear Zayn,

I thought i was happy with you, in love with you. But there's some things we didn't talk about and we thought we could do without it, without telling each other but we were wrong, oh so wrong. We just smiled and made ourselves think we were okay when we weren't.

We fell in love and now we're falling out of it, or at least i think i am. I don't feel happy when I'm with you and I'm constantly faking smiles and saying I'm fine when i all i want to do is tell you how I'm feeling and maybe, just maybe we could fall again like we did 5 years ago.

I'm ashamed and proud at the same time 'cause i can say i loved you. Loved. God what is wrong with me? I'm ashamed 'cause i fell out of love with you. How i did that, i still dunno but i feel terrible.

You were my everything and i was yours. Always had been and i thought it would stay the same. i never thought i would be the one feeling this way at the end of the day. I always thought you would end up leaving me 'cause you deserve so much better than just me.

You were my everything, my angel when all was crumbling,steadying my hands and holding me close. Helping me and we saved each other. You fixed me and picked up the broken pieces, put me back together again.

You can never say never when anything can happen. Time and time again things will change. And sometimes i feel like we're young and in love again but I'm dreaming. I'm in love with the memories of us. How we used to be. What we used to be.

Time changed everything and i have no idea where we went wrong. We're falling apart and I'm just watching it happen. We're crawling apart and I'm watching our love dissipate into thin air.

I remember the first time you held me to your chest while i cried and cried until i could hardly breathe.

''Why did they do it Zayn? What did i do? They left me, threw me out like garbage and didn't even look back. They left me.''  I sobbed while you whispered sweet nothings into my ear.

''They said i was worthless and that i don't deserve to live. They said i don't deserve love and their ashamed they ever gave it to me. I was a mistake! Why are you here Zayn?!'' I yelled.

''Why?! You deserve so much better and I'm just weighing you down. Why didn't you leave already? You're gonna leave anyway. Its just a matter of time before you see how i'm just a walking bag of flaws and shards of broken glass!''

''You're gonna leave me just like they did! Leave! While you still have the chance. Don't drag me along and let me get attached before you leave 'cause i dunno what I'll do then. I'd be shattered if you left Zayn!'' I mumbled the last part, reality setting in that you would probably leave now. That thought just had me sobbing harder and clutching to your t-shirt like my life depended on it while you rocked us back and forth.

''Ssshh...Ni, listen to me. I'm not leaving you, i promise. I love you. Forever and always.'' You whispered into my ear.

''Don't let me go Zee. I have nothing left. Just promise me Zee. Don't let me go. Please.'' I whispered as i cried silently.

''I promise Ni. I wont let you go. Ever.''

You said forever and look where we are now. I always knew we wouldn't last but i was dumb enough to hope that you would keep your promise. I should have known. I just wish it came earlier and i wouldn't be this broken right now. I wish you were here more than ever now and i don't regret the years i spent with you. It was amazing and i had always thought we would stay the same when in the back of my mind i always knew we wouldn't 'cause i'd fuck up somewhere along the line.