Scoliosis - A Day In My Life

A Day In My Life (With Scoliosis)

You wake up. You're already in agony from hours spent uncomfortably trying to get comfortable on a bed designed for people with flat backs and straight spines. You're exhausted but you have to go to school again and again and again. Time to get ready. You take your daily medication, there's so much of it you're constantly worried that you've forgotten to take some, because if you miss even one tablet your day will be even worse. You get dressed into clothes that don't fit you properly because of you're prominent left shoulder blade. The school uniform can't disguise you're slanted shoulders and your crooked back. You sling your heavy rucksack onto your aching back and instantly feel it weigh you down, every step even harder than it usually would be. Off you go to school, a quick trip to the nurse's office most mornings to get a note that gives you "special privileges" that people think you don't deserve because they don't think there's anything wrong with you. Most lessons are hell, you're in so much discomfort and pain and you're expected to learn like everybody else and pretend that you are ok because god forbid you burden your straight-spined peers with your twisted problems. In fact, talking can be quite hard in general as for most people it requires having to multi task with breathing. You often find it hard to breathe because your messed up spine crushes your left lung. It's not easy, especially when you already have a relatively bad case of athsma to match. There's not much time for education when you have seemingly endless physiotherapy and doctor's appointments, and counselling sessions where you speak about your depression among these other problems. You talk about your worries - The questions: "Will I do as well as my peers in my GCSE's, where most of them only have to worry about whether they know the answers and not whether they'll be in too much pain to think properly?" "How will I catch up after I take almost two months off of school for a major operation and recovery?" "Will I make it through the recovery period?" "Will I have to wear a back brace for 23 hours a day for months after the surgery?" "Will people make fun of my scar?" "Will I always be in pain?" "Will this ever stop affecting me?" "Why do people who barely know me make fun of me for discussing a condition they probably hadn't even heard of before they found out I had it?"

...

It's a lot. Too much to think about, really. You're only 15, everything's changing for you. There are so many expectations. So many challenges, not just for you but for most people your age. The only difference is that you are expected to do the same things as them, when you have all of these limitations, these issues that are holding you back. There's not much you can do. You try your best, but there's only so far you can go.

These are the problems I face every day, 24/7. Chronic pain, depression and scoliosis are all invisible illnesses. All of which I suffer from, all of which interlink with eachother to make for a pretty rough experience. These are the common affects of scoliosis, there are worse, rarer ones which I may still have yet to face:

•Paralysis - occasional, caused by spinal fluid leaks during or after the operation.
•Death - rare, caused by severe bloodloss during the operation.
•Muscle spasms.
•Loss of control of certain body parts and/or bodily functions.

(Next part aimed at my bullies in school)

Next time you feel like >complaining< about how I discuss my problems with my friends, please think about how far you would make it in a day of my life. And if you still decide it is ok for you to criticise how I take care of my health issues, don't you dare. That right is reserved for those who have two 10cm rods holding up their spine, and a scar to prove it. Not some poor soul who loves gossiping so much they'll gossip about something they don't understand. Not for those who want to join a cruel conversation just for the sake of it. Not for those who don't even know me well enough to make an accurate assumption of my personality lifestyle, and certainly not for those who can't stand up for their opinions unless their anonymous or behind my back.

And you know what? If you really, really don't want to hear about my endeavours any more? You can fuck right off, far away from me where I won't have to deal with you and you won't have to hear me ~complaining~ ever again. :)