I'm a Sexay Gay and I Know It

Day 7

Day 7: Wednesday 6:47 am

    I jolt up in my bed. The red-digital numbers on the clock read, 6:48 am. I thought I was late, teehee. I guess I'm just being paranoid. I get up early, anyways, and head over to the bathroom. My shirt still hasn't dried from all that crying, but that's okey. I take off my shirt, to reveal a nice build. I'm sorta skinny with a kind of visible sixpack. I used to work out, but I guess I just got to fuckin lazy. I throw my shirt in the hamper and go to my phone, to start my day off with:

"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!!!!...I STRUGGLE TO FIND MYSELF THIS TIME. SAVE YOURSELF FOR A MAN WITH A CONSCIENCE. I FIGHT TO FIND MYSELF THIS TIME. SAVE YOURSELF FOR A MAN THAT IS NOT ME. I SPEND MY DAYS LOOK THROUGH PAGES TRYING TO FIND A WAAYYYYY, TO GET A WAAAYYYY FROM ME. I LOVE TO GIVE AND LEAVE YOU BREATHLESS. NOW ALL I NEED TO FIND; A WAY BACK INSIDE MY MIND. I DON'T WANT TO MAKE YOU BREATHLESS; WHEN WILL YOU REALIZE. I DON'T WANT TO MAKE YOU BREATHLESS WHEN WILL YOU SEE YOURSELF... YAAAAHHHH!!!!!....THIS IS NOT THE END. THIS IS THE END OF. RUH!!!! ... AND STILL I CARRY ON. FORGET MY NAME. FORGET MY FACE. FORGET MY NAME. FORGET MY FACE..."-- Asking Alexandria

    Yes, that's right bitches; Asking Alexandria will forever start my day out happy. If only they could be like that one song and say that they would be here in the morning with a smile on their face in my fuckin room. Too bad. God was a blessing to make them who they are; I guess nobody can have what they truly want sometimes. Speaking of which, I'm not sure if Johnny is what I truly want. That or we are just becoming very close brothers; REALLY CLOSE. OKAY, MAYBE TOO FUDGING CLOSE. There I admit it. I'm still not sure about what I think of him.

    There are times, when I want to smack him on the lips with mine and other times when I just want to treat him like brothers really treat eachother; fight to the death for something stupid. Why can't I be like that? I always give into him. I look at his sleeping face and I can't believe that he is asleep with my loud music playing. He's a deep sleeper. I wonder what he dreams of. Another question to haunt me at night. Sigh.

7:00 am

    The alarm goes off, Johnny gets up, and Sugarcult's Los Angeles song start to play:

"...This city's killing meh. I want, I want, I want, everything. The sun is burning down Los Angeles. I wanna car, a car that won't break down, wanna girl, a girl that won't talk back, wanna job, a job that'll give me slack in the heat of Los Angeles. One more holiday; I will not celebrate, because I'm down, I'm down, I'm so beat down. This city's killing meh. I want, I want everything."

    "What is this horrible crap, that they call music?", Johnny is covering up his ears, in hope that they will block him from this music. I get pissed off because this is one of my favorite songs by Sugarcult. "Johnny, THIS ISN'T JUST CALLED MUSIC; IT IS MUSIC!!! Something that you wouldn't really have much talent of hearing."

    "Sunny, Sunny,...Sunny. You just don't understand that I...I'm the king of music. Fuck Elvis!!!! I'm the new king of Metalcore and Music." He just looks at me and I just don't want to waste anymore breath on him.

    We get to school in silence. I get to my first class and Sara is waiting for me. "Hey, Sunny! Miss me!!! I'm sorry I haven't been to school for the last two months. Since school started, I haven't really gotten to see you.", she pouts at me. Damn, why do I have to be such a big push-over? I kiss her on the forehead. Why did I do this? Because she's my recent girlfriend. We may haven't seen each other, but we didn't break up either. "That's all?", she archs her face towards mine. "I'm sorry, Sara. I just have my mind on other things at the moment and I'm not in the mood."

    "Did you get another girlfriend while I was away?", she puts her hands on her hips; sheesh, I hate when girls do that. Her face has melted down from being an angel, to maybe the daughter of the devil. At times like this, I'm thinking of why I didn't break up with her before she left. If I did this before and she started to cry, then she would have been in Europe and I wouldn't really feel guilty.

    "Sara, look." She looks at me in the face, with those pale blue eyes of hers. "Sara, I think we should be friends and not anything serious...what I'm trying to say is that, I think we should breakup and start out as just close besties.", she stands there calm and potent. I expect her to cry and I'm ready with my shoulder. I come towards her with open arms and she just smacks me; yelling, "Sunny, I hate you, you scumbag." I guess I deserved that. I yell after her, "SO DOES THIS MEAN WE'RE NOT FRIENDS????!!!!" She doesn't answer, so I take that as a yes and I can already feel a heavy burden being lifted off me. I smile.

2:50 pm

    School ends with rumors going around that Sara dumped me; which is not fudging true. I thought I dumped her. Well, if this helps her to get over me than, I'm okay with it.

    I walk to blue BMW parked in the student's parking lot and knock on the window. I hear the door, automatically, unlock and I slip in. A disgusting scent fills my lungs. Johnny's smoking; again. When will he ever learn that it isn't good for his health. I take the cigarette from his hand, open the window, throw it out on the black top, and turn to look at him. I can't believe it, he managed to light another one, while I was terminating the other. I know I can't do anything about it because his glove-compartment is just stocked with Camel cigarettes.

    He drives me to work, I can feel the breeze fight the smoke, but it loses. I mentally, cheer for the breeze from outside to blow away the wretched smell, but it doesn't. We're here and Johnny makes a move on me. He reaches over the shift bar, and plants one on my lips smoothly and with ease. I get out, portraying to be pissed, but on the inside I'm happy. "Bye Sunny, I love you!!", Johnny shouts out as he drives away. "I'll pick you up at 11pm!!" I just stand there dumbfounded.

    My sences come back to me and I walk to the bar's entrance. "Hey, Jolly! I'm here." Jolly is the bartender and owner. He's a man that women find attractive and that men find fun to talk with. He gets along with everybody. He waves to me, "Hey, Sunny! You can start with getting more wine from the back." I do what he says and the rest of the day goes on like that.

11:21 pm

    Where the hell is Johnny? He said he would be here at 11. It's passed 11. I use my phone to call him. I can here it ring, come on; pick up, pick up. He picks up, "EEEELLLLLLLLLOOOOOO!!!"

    "Johnny, it's me. Where are you? You said you were gonna be here and your not." I can hear him laughing. "Sunny, I never really left you. I'm in back of you; turn around." I turn. "Look in the third row of the parking lot." I do. "I'm waving do you see me?" Yes, I can see him and, by the way, he looks like a retard. I walk towards the car and open it up. "You were here the whole time and you didn't call me?" He looks like he's thinking. "Umm, yah."

    "Johnny, can you just take me home, I don't feel like fighting with you. This job sucks the life out of me. He looks at me, "Nope."

    "Why?"

    "Because I kinda wanted you and me to be alone together tonight for a while."

    "What are you trying to say Johnny?" I'm getting suspicious.

    "Cut the crap Sunny. I know you like me and I like you. I confessed last night and you said you loved me back." I just sit there, gawking. How does he know this? This is Johnny I'm speaking of; JOHNNY. He leans over, like he did when he dropped me off and kisses me. "LIke that, don't you, Sunny?" I do, but I don't want to tell him that. "I can read it all over your face and your blushing for me, Sunny; you shouldn't have."

    He gives me another kiss and instead of butterflies in my stomache; their are crazy hornets. i try to hold back from letting myself do anything crazy that would lead him to do more, but the more I do, the more it hurts. He slowly departs from my lips, with my bottom lip between his. My eyes are closed and I can just feel him and hear him unbuckle his seat belt. He goes to the back of the BMW and pulls me with him. He puts me onto his lap and butterfly kisses me all over my bare skin. His knowing hands go into my shirt and seem to mesmorize all the lines engraved in me. I can't help it. He's captured me.