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Ariana was an LBFM, a little brown fucking machine, and had a tight ass that looked good in jeans, better in hot pants, and best of all buck naked with my dick ploughing it wide open, but the key point here is she was dating one of my friends, or at least what the kids used to call a "frenemy" – someone I hung out with a lot who I kind of couldn't stand. Which, I guess, is the main draw of this story, and why I've been desperate to get it down and tell someone, albeit with the names and certain details changed to keep things in the fiction section and me out of court.

Ariana was dating John, a guy I knew from an old job when I was at college. Convenience store work, dull as fuck but we got high together before, during and after shifts, and bonded over that, as well as a summer spent down in Mexico, where he picked up Spanish and I got lice. He was nice enough, I guess, and although our politics and tastes in music differed I can't really say why he got on my nerves. Maybe it was just the fact he was another guy and I'm competitive as fuck. I mean, I don't like hanging out with folk that much, but I do like to party, and I love to get laid.

So I liked John, I guess, but I liked Ariana more.

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