Chip on My Shoulder

College has given me a bit of a chip on my shoulder. I thought I was the best damn thing in the world in high school. Straight A's all four years, involved in all the major clubs, hours of community service; you know, the works. I figured I was so special and that I should apply to be in the Honor's College, because the regular state university wasn't "good enough" for me. I was popular, smart, and accomplished, so I had a mindset that I would be a star in college.

How wrong I was. One of the strangest cultural shocks anyone can experience is the shock of going from the number one person in your class to being below average. Many of the students in the Honor's College were, to put it simply, better than me.

They went to private schools that offered almost exclusively AP classes. They started their own businesses in high school. They were members of sports teams that had gone on to compete at the national level. Plus, they were all rich. My family has never been poor by any means, but my fellow students came from families that made at least three times what my single mom made.

The worst part about this situation was that I couldn't hate them. It would be so easy to look at these students and see privileged kids who had been given everything they wanted in life, but that was far from the truth. Almost all of them were hard-workers. They were charming, humble, funny, and generous. They were everything I wasn't.

The way I saw it, I had two options. I could either switch schools and become a big fish in a small pond, or I could stay where I was and learn how to deal with everyone around me having advantages over me. Admittedly, it was a hard decision. I was so used to being number one that it felt unnatural not to be. That said, I decided that despite them having everything, I could make myself stand out.

I believe what really prompted my change into the person I am today is constantly hanging out with those students. They went from a source of anxiety to a source of friendship and comfort. Being around their positive energy and work ethic pushed me to work harder and be a better person.

I'm not proud of the type of person I used to be. I was narcissistic, pretentious, and cocky. But I'm proud of the person I have pushed myself to become. There's always going to be people better than me at something. That's not a sign to give up, that's a sign to evaluate yourself and try harder.

Right now, I'm surrounded by great friends who encourage me to give my best effort to everything I do. I feel invigorated to strive to live the best life I can. If that's not success, I don't know what is.