Until now I'd never known what it was like to be desired. Until now I'd never felt the complete and utter pain and despair that came with breaking somebody's heart . I'm still not sure how any of it happened but this year something changed . Maybe it was because I had changed for the better and maybe it was something else . But let me tell you something being desired by many men isn't as pleasurable as one would think . It hurts . It hurts to know that you have all these sweet kind men standing before you with their arms out , hearts in hand , ready to give you their souls and having to tell them you don't want it. How on earth do you tell them you don't want it? How do you live with yourself peacefully knowing you broke them? How do you tell them that you know who you want and it isn't them? I was never sure what was worse: having your heart broken or breaking the heart of another ... I know the answer now.
Sure they'll get over it right? Wrong. Months later and I still am reminded Day by day by each one of them- even my own beloved- how I hurt them. I live in a state of knowing that these people do not know happiness without me in their lives and I must some how live knowing that they are incapable of being content in their own company, that it is in fact my fault that they are so miserable .
There is nothing desirable about having multiple men interested in you especially when they are so so serious about it .
YOU ARE READING
call it a blog if you must
PoesiaBasically just poems, writing pieces, rants etc. id like to think my writing touches people but hey only you can decide on that. Give this a chance, a little read and let me know your thoughts.
