Our New Beginning

Chapter 2

Aria slowly walked down the hallway to apartment 3B—a journey she hadn't made in months. She stood before the wooden door still debating whether or not she should be doing this. What exactly was she doing? The last time Aria was inside that apartment she was screaming at Ezra to get lost and now she was preparing to have dinner with him. Perhaps it was curiosity that caused her to say yes to Ezra earlier that day, or more likely, the fact that whenever she was around Ezra she seemed to completely lose herself. She knew pursuing whatever this was with Ezra was dangerous, but it was something she felt she had to do. It was her only opportunity to get the answer to the one question she'd been dying to know ever since he confessed to writing the book and knowing Alison.

"Aria, what the hell were you thinking?!" Spencer shouted at her from across Aria's bedroom.

Aria sat on the bed and remained quiet, playing with her hands in her lap and refusing to meet Spencer's eyes, though she could still feel her glare burning into her skin.

"I'm serious, Aria. This is dangerous!"

"You think I don't know that?!" Aria snapped back, picking her head up to look at Spencer.

"Then why'd you say yes?"

"I don't know!"

"Why did you even talk to him?!" Spencer questioned angrily.

"I had no idea he was going to be at the bar! What was I supposed to do, ignore him when he talked to me?!"

Spencer sighed, realizing how hard this was for her friend. "You didn't have to say yes..."

"I don't get what the big deal is. He doesn't remember me, Spencer! He doesn't even remember Alison or the book!"

"Aria... What you're trying to do is just going to end up hurting you."

Aria got up and stood before Spencer, trying to be as big as she could despite Spencer towering over her. "You have no idea what I'm trying to do!"

"Yes I do, Aria! You think this can be a clean slate for you both but you can't repeat the past!"

"Really, Spence? You can't repeat the past? Stop fucking quoting Gatsby! This isn't repeating the past, Spencer. I'm a different person from when we met two years ago and so is he!"

Spencer rolled her eyes. "Please, just listen to yourself! Maybe it isn't repeating the past, but you're trying to recreate it! Have you even thought any of this through? What if he finds something about you? What happens if he remembers, huh? What do you think he'll do when he realizes you've been lying to him?"

"He approached me!" Aria yelled, changing the subject. "No Alison, no book, and he still talked to me..."

"Aria, you're expecting this to be just like it was before. It isn't going to be the same! It never will be like that as long as he doesn't remember and you need to understand that before you get seriously hurt!"

Aria gripped the back of her head with both of her hands. "God dammit, Spencer! I fucking deserve this!" Aria screamed, throwing her hands down angrily. "I need to know if what we had was real... If he would have ever loved me if it wasn't for that fucking book..." Aria whispered, choking back her tears.

Spencer's face softened. "Aria, I get it. You're still angry that he knew who you were before he met you and you want to change that but this isn't the way to do it! This is a man's memory, not some puzzle that you can rearrange! You should be helping him rebuild it not tear it apart! Wouldn't you rather he remember? Don't you want him to know everything he risked to be with you? Isn't that love more important than how you first met?"