forgetting your love

august

i miss you, i miss your freckles, i miss the way you held me and kissed me. i miss your laugh, i miss your smile, i miss everything about you.
i do miss you-but i don't want you. i don't want to say you're name, i don't want to think of you moving on and loving someone else, all i want is to be happy-with or without you.
    almost lovers always leave, whether you try and face it or not. the feeling on your chest heavier than two-thousand pounds makes it hard to breathe. i feel my heart sink, then shatter, i feel my eyes burning from crying, i feel my skin tear as i scratch my arms, i feel abandoned, alone, scared and useless. why did you leave me?
     you always told me you would never hurt me, and you would not be like the rest of the guys who left me wounded. i thought you'd be mine, you told me i was yours-until you fucked everything up, you yelled, told me "you're not good enough" "you're so clingy" being clingy about a person who you love shows how much you really do need them. the whole time i was with you, you were talking to other guys. you fucking promised you wouldn't hurt me, you told me that you were different. i thought we made love, but you just wanted to get fucking shea jealous. you're a scummy, ignorant, selfish, insignificant douche who only picks up the ash from the fire. you can't take the heat, so you let it all die out.
      i hate you. i miss you & i need you.