forgetting your love

changing my world

you made life so easy, so happy. you made my life worth living for, and without you here-i'm a vessel. empty, and cold.
     you're happy without me while i'm still up at 3:31 in the morning crying over you. it's been two months and i can't wake up without thinking about you. i wish i could go back in time, and do my wrongs right. but i also wouldn't have trusted you for the millionth time. you have hurt me too much to the point where i don't feel anything but cold, searing pain. you said "i want you" but you just wanted the attention, the love, but not from me-you wanted it from anyone else.
     why should i continue breathing if you don't want me to? why should i move on when i don't want to? i want you here, next to me. but you'd rather be next to someone who is smarter, taller, funnier, handsome, and more than what i'll ever become. i hate you to the deepest and most darkest core of my body, but i miss you more and more every day. why did you get my hopes up just to drop them and let it shatter until the crumbs were too small to put back together? why did you let me believe i could be special? why did you lie to me, why did i lie to myself.
ppl tell me you miss me, and that you're struggling. but some others say you're partying, seeing guys, having a blast without me in the picture, and that you're just happy. i want to be happy, but every fucking time i close my eyes i see you, i see us at the lake, i see us at the fair, at the movies, anything that ever involved you is on my mind until i break down and become manic. you left me so broken, but as much as i hate you-i want you to fix me again. pls, pls come back. even if it's to break me again-i deserve it.
i want to forget how happy you made me, but i never want to forget how badly you hurt me. i'm putting my foot down, i'm deciding to erase you from my mind. as hard as it is, i know it's for the best.. go fuck around with some other guy, go break someone else's heart, i don't care. i can feel myself sinking into a deeper depression, i'm struggling to breathe, but i can't do this anymore. i want you gone, and if you ever want to come back, i'm going to try and say no.. i can't let you fool me ever again. you changed my world for the worst, and i don't ever wanna see you, ever again.