Never asked to feel your halo (Faberry)

30: Racing on the Thunder.

As soon as she was alone Quinn shoved the book off of her lap and dropped her head into her hands.

What the hell was wrong with her? She hadn't come over here for any of this! She obviously shouldn't have come at all, because now look at her, at the pair of them in fact.

They'd been having an okay time, she was feeling relaxed for the first time in Rachel's company, without having to be buried face deep in her neck to achieve it. And then she'd gone and ruined it! First with making the massive mistake of thinking Rachel was coming on to her – and really, what had that been about? She couldn't have just said 'thanks, but no thanks' instead of embarrassing herself completely? She was sure she would have been cooler about it if she hadn't been totally blindsided by the fact that Rachel was being so open and blunt about something that frankly terrified the hell out of Quinn.

Not that she had been, as it turned out!

And then . . . Mike. What the hell?

Quinn didn't do jealousy except as a motivating factor; she didn't need to because if she wanted something she just made it hers, end of story. And the last person she ever thought would be able to put a dent in her three year run of total success was a skinny Asian boy who'd only escaped McKinley loserdom because he could catch a darn football three times out of four. Mike Chang was clearly the problem here. If she could just find a way to eliminate him from the equation then Rachel would realize that a futile, unrequited crush on her was way better than an actual relationship with that boy . . .

Quinn slammed her palms into the carpet either side of her, head dropping back against the edge of the mattress. She was losing her mind, competing against a guy who should be so far beneath her notice that she crushed him under her heel without even, well, noticing, for the attention of a girl she didn't even want to want in the first place!

She was wrong, Mike wasn't the problem; she was and this was a disaster! Trying to hold Rachel close and push her away at the same time because she felt so confused. She needed Rachel to like her but couldn't give her a reason to and just kept giving her reasons to do the opposite. She was floating out of her depth and it was nice, better than nice, when she just went with it, but every time something made her remember she couldn't touch the bottom anymore she panicked and lashed out; driving even more of a wedge than ever between them.

She should just leave. Give Rachel the money for the pizza, tell her she wasn't hungry anymore and just go before she could make things any worse. It wasn't like there was anything to gain from staying. They could never be friends when she was feeling so conflicted and she was not prepared to risk another meltdown like she'd just had. It wasn't even that it was embarrassing – although it totally was – but why suffer through it when Rachel was clearly more interested in Mike Chang than her?

She found her purse and counted out enough money to cover the pizza, folded the bills and tucked them under the edge of Rachel's history homework where she would find them later.

Rachel might be hurt by her sudden change of attitude for a little while but it wouldn't be that hard to stay away. It wasn't like they were really friends anyway. They didn't hang out in school; they were by design on opposing sides of the fissure running through the middle of Glee club and Quinn would be professional and civil in American Literature.

There was really no reason for them to spend time together other than that.

Her eyes strayed to the door to Rachel's closet, thinking of the freshly washed clothes that would be inside.

'But I need her.'

No!

She didn't need her like that. She didn't need anyone! And she wasn't going to prove Rachel right by hanging around just to . . . to sniff her clothes!