Feelings unlocked

The Next Step

I know how he feels now, and he knows how I feel. Maybe we can be more than captain and first officer. More than "friends" as the humans say. I certainly hope he thinks so. I must stay in control of my emotions. I must. I am alone in my quarters. I begin to cry. I stuff my face in my pillow until I can't breath. Then I raise my head gasping for breath. Why do I have to be part human? If I truly didn't have emotions I wouldn't have to worry about any of this. I'm still crying when the door to my quarters opens. I stand up and see the figure standing there is the only one I truly can't hide my emotions from. I sit back down and bury my face in my hands.

"How do you do this to me, Jim?" I ask him as he comes closer.

"Do what exactly? All I did was walk into the room. I mean jeez! I thought you were Vulcan, Mr. Spock!" He answers, still coming closer.

He is so close now that I could reach out and touch him. I start crying harder and I notice the trace of a tear on his face too. He gives me a watery smile. I reach my hand up and touch his. He holds my hand against his face as I stand up.

"It hurts, losing control of my emotions, but I think I like doing it with you." I whisper to him as I lean my forehead against his.

We stand like that for a minute. My hand on his face, our foreheads touching, and breathing each other's air.

"I love you, Mr. Spock."

"And even though it is completely illogical, I... I... I love you too, Captain."

Next thing I know our lips meet. We are pressing our mouths against each other like two starving people eating their first meal in weeks. And I guess, in a way, that is exactly what it is. I have been hungry for this since the day I stepped foot on this starship now I have my wish. I plan to get my fill.

"I'm glad you've decided to join the illogical side, Mr.-"

"Just Spock."

"Okay... Just Spock," he says as he tries and fails to fight back a smile.

"Very funny," I answer.

I smile as I kiss him again. His hands find my face and I place mine on his waist. His hands slide down my neck and under my top, blue shirt. I slide mine under the bottom of his shirt. He pulls off my loose, blue over-shirt to reveal the skin-tight, black t-shirt I wear underneath. I'm having a hard time breathing but I couldn't care less. I slide off his shirt. Unlike me, he wears nothing on underneath his shirt. I slide my hands over his bare abdomen. He is strong and smooth. His fingers play nervously with the hem of my shirt. My hands slide down his arms to his hands, and I wrap his fingers around edge of my shirt. I pull his hands up and let go about halfway where he finishes. I let out a soft moan as his fingers slide through the downy hair on my chest, and he smiles up at me. I fit my mouth to his. Suddenly the door slides open.

"Mr. Spock, I can't seem to find- woah!" Doctor McCoy stands in the doorway. He stares at us with wide eyes.

"I'm sorry..." He starts to move back toward the door.

"You're fine, Doctor," Jim tells McCoy.

He steps back and allows his hands to fall. I heave a sigh and reach down. I pick up Jim's shirt and my t-shirt. I take a tentative step toward Jim. He doesn't step away and I slid my t-shirt on him. He doesn't object as I then put his uniform shirt on over that. After I put on his stuff on him I pull on my uniform shirt.

"I'll see you later, Spock," he says, almost asks.

I smile at the hope in his voice. I lean down my head and kiss him. Soft and slow. I pull away a fraction of an inch.

"Undoubtedly," I whisper back against his lips.

He smiles wide and, fixing his hair as he walks, leaves for the bridge, leaving me alone with McCoy.

"Care to explain?" He asks, raising one eyebrow.

"Me and J- Captain are very fond of each other," I answer.

He smiles at me and shakes his head.

"You love that man. Don't you, Mr Spock?"

"Even though it is completely illogical... I do."

"Good. You both need it. You really do. So do yourselves both a favor and keep it."

"Yes, sir."

"Green-blooded Hob Goblin."