Peridot's Window Into the World

Put It Down, Peri

Art by Anto-z, used with permission.
http://anto-z.deviantart.com/art/Steven-universe-fan-art-lapidot-629007174

​In her own way, Peridot was almost as disturbed as Lapis Lazuli. Sitting at the end of the barn muttering home world obscenities, Peri crouched like a little toad as her fingers tapped the tablet. 

“Peri, put that damn thing down,” said Lapis.

“I can’t!” said Peri. This clod is on here talking about how same gender people shouldn’t get married!

“Peri, before you came to Earth you didn’t know what gender was,” said Lapis.

“I kinda did!” said Peridot. “Gems form different parts all the time, I just didn’t know the word for it.”

Lapis wondered how many different genders gems would have if they used the same logic as humanity, of if they were stuck to those genders. 

She took a deep breath and turned to a wall, one space covered by a pinned up cloth. She yanked the cloth down, exposing the mirror. It still startled her to see a mirror if she didn’t brace herself first.

She reached down to pick up the hair brush on the floor. Steven’s friend, Connie, thought Lapis’ let her hair get crazy because of the trauma of being Malachite for so long. Lapis figured Connie was too young to tell her the real reason: Peridot keeps messing it up. 

She covered the mirror up again and knelt down behind Peridot. The angry little muffin barely noticed, still grumbling over whoever she was arguing with. The tension in Peri’s shoulder melted quickly as she felt Lapis’ hand on her.

Peridot leaned back, resting her head on Lapis’ lap. She seemed to calm down some, though she kept a frown on her face. 

“Put it down, Peri,” said Lapis.

“No, I’m fine,” she grumbled. 

Lapis patted Peri’s triangle hair. She noticed Peri’s breathing calm. They didn’t actually need to breath, except when they were talking, but Peri was what gems called a “nervous breather.” 

Peridot closed Twitter and opened her collection of pirated music. Lapis didn’t understand K-pop, but it made Peri happy.

“We need jobs,” said Peri.

“Why?” said Lapis. 

“We could be living the swear life on Earth!” said Peridot, throwing her arms up. “Don’t get me wrong, the barn is nice. But have you seen some of these video games and computers Earth has? We could have afforded all of it if I’d just had a few thousand Earth units earlier this week. I’d gotten an email from the prince of a country called Nigeria. We missed out on a fortune just because I didn’t have the money to front for his legal fees.”

Peridot groaned, depressed. “Once in a lifetime opportunity,” she said. 

“I don’t know anything about that,” said Lapis. “I don’t think we need much, though. We’ve got our TV, our farm and our meepmoops. We’ve got plenty to do.”

“Yeah,” said Peri. She scrolled down on her tablet, looking at the Amazon page for a Nintendo Switch. “One day, my love,” she whispered.

“What?”

“Nothing,” said Peri. “Want to experiment with human fusion rituals again?”

“I’m still sore,” said Lapis. “I think we’re doing it wrong.”

“Quite possible,” said Peridot. “That website seemed very weird.” 

“And I don’t think you’re supposed to do that with a toe,” said Lapis.

“That one was actually my idea,” said Peri. 

Lapis laid down and Peri scooted up, resting her chin on Lapis’ chest. She kind of wished something interesting would happen, like a corrupted gem attack. She had so much nervous energy and she couldn’t remember a time when she could just lay about like she was with Lapis. It felt so alien. But hell, everything about this world was alien. Fun, though. If Lapis didn’t feel like doing the clunky human fusion dance, maybe they could try that pro wrestling thing she saw. It looked like pretty much the same thing. 

End.

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