A Different Kind of Normal

chapter 3

So as we walked to Kevin's car we continued the conversation. He was alright.

"Hey, you're actually an alright person and I think people should give you a chance." He finally showed me the picture he took of me. "You look pretty here, I can give it to you if you want." Kevin said. This time I could see he was a little shy. Kevin and shy? What? This was new to me.

  But what was even more strange is that he just called me pretty. Kevin Stevens thought I was pretty. I just said "Uh, sure, I'll take it"

Then he said "Everything can be made to look beautiful, that's why i love photography."

I knew he only meant i looked good in the picture, but it didn't really matter to me. I mean what was i expecting anyway.

I stopped thinking of him for a while, I mean there is no way on this Earth that Kevin would ever like me. Me of all people. Plus I wasn't going to fall for him. NO WAY. NEVER. He can try to prove me wrong all he wants but I'm not going to like him. He is Kevin and there is no way me, Brooklyn Rose Patterson, will ever like that jerk. So basically, i knew that after the conversation we had today, we will never talk again.

The drive to my house was quiet. We just listened to music. We didn't like the same kind of music, but I didn't want to complain about that too, after all the other things.

It sounds a bit weird to think about it, but his car smelled really nice. I started thinking again. Maybe he did just want to be friends. Maybe my mind just wandered too far after he said I was pretty. Uh. I need to stop over thinking the situation and just leave it. Why did I care anyway.

It's like I entered another life. I needed to get back to my normal life. My normal not caring life. The thing is though, I think I was stuck now. And all because of Kevin. Maybe I should just try to avoid him, I mean I don't want to be popular or have to do anything with someone who is popular. And i knew that I was thinking about all this, how we might end up together while all that he was probably thinking about is the cheerleader he is going to hook up with tonight.

Then we arrived at my house. We both said goodbye and I stepped out of the car. I walked into my room and dropped onto the bed. I did my homework, like I always do. It took me about two hours. Then it was time for dinner. 

For dinner I had spaghetti. I ate together with my parents as always. They talked about their day and asked me how mine was, the usual. I told them about some of my classes but didn't mention anything about Kevin. After eating I took out another coke from the freezer and went up to my room.

My room was small and very messy. Clothes everywhere. The only thing organized was my book shelf which was one whole wall of my room. Books were precious to me. I told you why before. You probably don't care.

So the rest of my room included the bed that I never made, a work table, my messy closet, some more messy shelves and just random stuff. I owned a computer but barely used it. I used it for music, and well books. My two favorite things.

  So when I finished homework and studying that's what I did. Listen to music and read of course. I didn't have "social media". Well I don't anymore. There's a couple of reasons why. First of all, I don't need it, its stupid and boring. Second, why would I have it when I don't care about other people's lives anyway. And last, I got bullied on there before. Even worse, it was by who I thought was my best friend.

Yes, I know what you are thinking, the typical story, bla bla bla. But it actually is the typical story to be honest. I'll still explain the details though.

So I had this person who I called my "best friend forever" "the other half of me" "my sissy" and all of that crap. Her name is Scarlet. She really was the best friend I ever had. We told each other EVERYTHING. She was pretty and nice, and she made me feel nice and pretty and popular too.

Those were the good days, until after one summer she decided to avoid me. I tried to change that, but nothing worked. She just hated me all of a sudden, for no reason. So then she told some of my secrets to other people on these social medias. 

That is when my not caring began. At first, I cried and cried. It just really hurt being let down by the person you trusted the most. It was too much pain so I needed to do something against it. Yep, I got depressed, didn't care about anyone or anything and basically became a nothing. By becoming a nothing, I mean that no one takes notice of me or anything, but I don't care.

I guess you could say that I used to have a good life and she ruined everything. I never really could fully hate her though, and if I could I would go back and try to change things.

Scarlet became really popular. She still is now. She is pretty, and gets all the boys. She is a cheerleader. She goes to parties. She even dated Kevin at one point, i know i know, such a surprise. But that really doesn't matter to me.

If there's one thing I know about life, it is that high school doesn't matter a lot. How "cool" or "popular" you are doesn't really affect you and your future. And even if it does, it usually doesn't affect it in a good way.

To be honest, the non-popular kids, or nerds, end up the best. In the end, you forget high school. You forget everything, so it doesn't matter. What is a big deal now, wont be in ten years.

Finally, I got up from my bed, took a shower, got ready and went to bed. There I read and listened to music again. I usually fell asleep around midnight because I would always read. But reading is good, it also makes you smarter.

Then I fell asleep. That night I had a dream about something, even though i usually don't dream. It was a dream about my parents. They try so hard for me but i never give them love in return. I guess thats another thing me and Kevin had in common, but the difference is that I decided that I'm actually going to do something about it.