At Random

Father (A short story)

 have always felt like my parents were having some sort of chronic issue. I love my parents dearly, but something between them never really felt correct. When I was younger I was oblivious to their issues, or maybe they just knew how to cover them up around my brother and I. My brother is older than I am. I believe this whole time he had more of an idea of what was happening, but he kept it from me because he was scared of upsetting me.

A little background of my family, it is just the four of us. Well, was the four of us. My brother and his girlfriend moved out together when they turned 18 years old. Nothing is wrong with that, they are still together to this day. My father moved out when I was between 12 and 13 years old. In all honesty I did not have any idea of this around the time he first moved out (this is something I want you to keep in mind for later). My family never rolled in money. We lived paycheck to paycheck, and I hardly ever recall having name-brand products. When it came to back to school shopping I usually got my clothes from Walmart or hammy downs from my brother. I hated it because I felt like I was going to be made fun of in school for it, but I was still appreciative because I knew they were doing all they could for us kids. My mother never got a job until I was in the third grade, and to be honest I think her waiting for so long caused so many unnecessary problems.

As I grew older my parents fighting grew more heated and became entirely noticeable to both my brother and I. Typically I tried ignoring what was occurring by closing myself in my room and do something to preoccupy my mind. After whatever argument between them finished my brother used to come to my room to make sure I'm holding up fine. I tried acting like I never noticed anything and like everything was peachy. Now that I am to a more understanding point in my life, my mom would occasionally vent to me about some of the ridiculous arguments that her and dad had. I would never try to favor sides because I know looking at things with only one point of view is just silly. I would rather have an understanding of both parties and try to work for a compromise than fending for one person's opinion. Yet, my dad would never say anything about their arguments, which was fine because I know it is a personal topic. Regardless since I only heard one side of the situation it seemed like my dad was always upset over foolish reasons. One time him and my mom fought just because her phone was acting up and it hung up on her and my dad's call. There is definitely an underlying issue that they were having. There is absolutely no way he got upset about a call disconnecting.

Towards the end of my dad's stay with the rest of us I did start seeing the other signs of unusual behaviors. It seemed like he would never sleep around the same time as my mother did. He would arrive home from work later than he usually always did. When he happened to be home he would always stay up late on his computer just typing away. He typed a lot, and at a really quick pace as well...but he typed really loud. I wonder if that was because he was trying to relieve some kind of frustration or anger.

My parents got into a pretty big fight. I honestly cannot even recall what it was about because again, I would lock myself in my room. I only remember hearing my dad storm off and the front door being slammed behind him. When I exited my room to see what in the world was happening my mom was sitting down frustrated and my brother was running out the door bawling after my father. No one told me what exactly had happened that evening, but I knew my brother knew.

At one point my dad was never home anymore. All his stuff remained at our house still, so I just thought he was busy a lot. When this starting becoming an ongoing thing I began asking my mom almost daily where dad was and when he would be returning home. Mother always gave me the same answer; "He's at work, he won't be home until late." or something around that phrase. My parents slept with their door closed and when my mom went to work in the mornings she closed their bedroom door. I should of caught on, but I would never knock on the door because I truly thought my dad was home and sleeping. So I never wanted to disturb his sleep because I was always told he worked late nights. Although at one point I realized how gullible I was to my parents word because I caught on that my dad was not home in the mornings either. Before my mom would go to work I used to ask her where dad was, and she would always give me another false statement like; "Oh, he just went to work early." or something relatively similar.

In December was when things started unraveling and revealing itself. My brother was driving my best friend and I over to the local Walmart to go rent a couple movies and too goof off for a little while. My brother was driving my mom's 2004 Silver Honda Civic when the accident happened. We were on our way out of Walmart and heading home. The traffic light had the green arrow for us to turn left, and the person sitting at the opposite side of the intersection was texting and driving. He was stopped at the light prior to moving, but when he saw the hint of green (signaling our right of way through traffic) he starting moving his vehicle. He t-boned my mom's car on the passenger side, which happened to be the side my best friend (in front seat) and I (back seat) were sitting on. Luckily the whole accident occurred at low speeds so no one was seriously harmed. Still it felt like everything happened so slowly. I just remember my brother and best friend screaming, as well as seeing headlights before the collision. My brother banged his head into the steering wheel, the passenger door caved in causing my best friend's arm to temporarily be sore, and for myself I banged my head in the plastic frame above the back window (it was only a 2 door Civic so the back window was tiny), and my glasses flew off my face.

It felt like the guy who hit us tried doing a hit-and-run because we instantly pulled off the road and it took him a couple moments to turn around and return to us. I did not like this man, he seemed extremely inconsiderate. He asked my brother if he was okay, but didn't bother to even ask the rest of the passengers. Keep in mind he was driving a Prius with his 5 year old son in the passenger seat, then while we waited for cops to arrive he decided to try duct taping his car. I spent a few minutes searching the back seat of the car trying to find my glasses. I did not even find them until I almost stepped on them.

Once the cops arrived to the scene my brother did most of the talking while my best friend and I waited in the car. When the cop came over to check on my friend and I, he asked our condition. I felt dizzy, nauseated, and with a massive headache, I probably should of told him that but instead stated that I felt okay. I only feel like I should of been honest just to clarify that I did not suffer from any minor concussions. My mom was actually aware of the situation, but she did not ever show up because we had her car. Although it was a minor wreck it was still enough to total my mom's car.

A little while after the cops showed up my dad finally appeared. When he did appear he did not show up with my mom, but instead another lady. I knew the lady, she was a family friend of our's since we first moved to the little town we currently live in. I did not really say much about it, but I thought it was odd that they were together at such a late hour. That was about when everything starting clicking in my head. The gears had finally actually started turning. I desperately wanted to question my dad about it while he took my friend and I home (because the lady stayed at the scene with my brother), but I felt like that would be too awkward at the moment in time.
After this event was when my parents finally came clean about how they were separated and seeing other people. My brother was really upset, partially because the woman my father was seeing never got along with my brother. He began acting out in several different ways, such as being sexual, dabbling into drugs, and arguing with our parents more often than before. I tried holding myself together because I felt like having two children acting out would not solve any solution. I knew I had to be strong and hold myself together through this news. It honestly was not very difficult to do because of the fact I care about my parents happiness over making them suffer. They already tried staying together for my sibling and myself, it didn't go anywhere. Sometimes people are just not compatible for each other.

When my parents opened up their separation to the family it was as if my section of the family got portioned off and neglected. They did not agree with my parents choice. Although if you ask me my aunt it very hypocritical because she is judging her own sister (my mother) for the exact thing she went through in her past. Regardless my extended family and household family drifted away from each other. I also did not get to see my dad too often, and when I did him and my brother were almost constantly arguing over some nonsense.

Even though I was fortunate enough to still see my father...I still felt neglected. It felt like he would rather be with my brother than I. I felt envious of my brother because they would go out together once a week and hang out together while I stayed home staring mindlessly at my ceiling. I honestly feel like when my parents separated it was a really bad time. It seemed as if my father walked out on the majority of my life when I needed him the most...