Unstable state of mind

Random #rants 1

I dont know where to turn to,
But seriously when you get into adult phase mostly all the situations you get in probably not from your fully prepared mental and physical.

You are just pushing yourself to get a grip in the situation because there is no option left other than, just do it
You keep telling yourself everything is gonna be alright because you really hate to feel burdened

You can whisper 100x times that youre not ready
You can cry a loadful of tears because you dont want something to happen

But in the end, time passed
And you gotta embrace everything at that time either you want it or not.

But thats how life works as an adult
You gotta deal with every situation like that inside or outside

Sometimes i felt like to cry because i felt like my heart really heavy as if someone is stepping on my chest
But it is all because all the worries and problem is getting in their way and piles up

I felt exhausted to cry, i knew it is just a waste of time, i felt numb to the pain so i hide everything inside but at one point i felt like i already passed beyond the limit and i dont know what to do with myself

I am really... really keep telling myself theres nothing about all the challenges difficulties the barriers im gonna face , but the fear behind it, which i try to hold from spreading inside myself also keep growing stronger against myself and weighed me down

I really have no idea whats going inside my mind right now.
Im just hoping God will grant me enough strength to go thru everything even if im gonna shattered to pieces and fall to the ground.

6/8/17