Kissing is my favorite activity.
I know, kind of gross. And then at the same time you're like, but what about sex?! You like just kissing?
Yes. Just kissing. Yeah sex is fine and dandy but oh man. You will never get the same kind of rush by anything that you will get by kissing someone you've wanted to kiss for a while for the first time. There's this sense of almost innocent intimacy to it, such a sense of closeness. You have to be so close, breath to breath, chest to chest. So close you can hear their heart fluttering just like yours is, just a few inches below their skin.
It's been awhile since I've had a first kiss with someone. At the time, or at least not terribly long after, I was convinced that the person I was kissing was going to be the person I'd be kissing for the rest of my life. I thought that was going to be my last first kiss, and I was thrilled about it. It was a great first kiss. It had all of the crucial elements. It was someone I really wanted to kiss, and they really wanted to kiss me. It had the sense of surprise, and terror leading up to it, the thoughts of "jesus fuck will you just kiss her already, you chicken?!I" Most of all, it was someone I was truly, deeply, uncontrollably, undeniably, and looking back, definitely unhealthily, in love with.
Unfortunately, dear reader, while this story has some beautiful beginnings, it does not have a beautiful ending. The ending is actually rather traumatic, and upsetting, especially for me. However, this story ended so a new one could begin.
With much love,
j.l.
YOU ARE READING
Lungs and Coffee Cups
Poetry"I believe we hold our feelings in our lungs, and at the bottom of empty coffee cups" The life and writings of j.l., a book of poetry containing absolute devastation and pure joy.
