123. Live to disappoint

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P-goon: aren't you supposed to be asleep?
Yano: I'm supposed to be a lot of things, but I live to disappoint.

Guys. Yes I'm still here. I decided to keep this going till 200, or at least I'll try to but I don't publish anything kpop related anymore apart from this and my Q & A. Either way there's stuff going on and I feel shitty af.

So I've been watching a lot of videos of Jacksepticeye and yeah he's Irish and basically I looked up the language and now I'm learning it because it's interesting af and I use languages to cope as well as drawing. I told my mom about me learning a ninth language and she got upset?? Idk. Anyway it reminded me about when it dream college rejected me because my art wasn't good enough and I've lost all motivation to continue learning any language or to even draw, and I just feel really sad and shitty because those are the things I enjoy most and tbh I just kinda wanna vanish from this world if I can't even do the things that keep me alive anymore.

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