Personal Preference (George Harrison)

Chapter Twenty-Three: Blue Christmas

Christmas time was here... usually, I welcomed Christmas but this year, there was something lurking about and I could not predict what it just might be. I was getting ready in the bathroom of the flat when Stella, I assumed, knocked on the door. I was only wearing underwear, so I quickly opened the door to see who it was, quite like ripping a bandaid off. Thankfully, it was Stella. "What's going on?" I asked, allowing her to come in.

"I know you said we weren't going to fly to New York," She started. "But... is there any way that I could?" She finally asks.

"I'm not keeping you captive," I begin, taking a deep breath. "Leave if you want, but I insist on you coming to the Beatles Christmas party tonight, so don't even think about skipping town beforehand."

"Deal, but I'm leaving first thing in the morning," She says, a smile adorning her face.

I stop myself before I can say another thing to her, knowing that she'll be upset with me if I try to get her to stay on Christmas Day. About an hour later, we leave for the party at John and Cynthia's house. I dread the party, yet I can't wait to be there. Stella can't keep her eyes off her compact mirror, beyond satisfied with the way she looks this evening. I, on the other hand, feel as if I could look better. Seeing as were about to enter a party cluttered with beautiful models to outshine our Greenwich Village beauty.

We pulled up outside of Kenwood shortly before the eight o'clock hour. The party had yet to really begin, but Stella and I entered anyway. We knocked on the door, and soon enough it swung open revealing John. Seeing John made me feel much better about the night ahead, and that taking a break of the Beatles after the tour was a horrible decision on my part. We embraced tightly, and I couldn't help but smile. "I missed you, Jo, not having my groupie around has been a drag." John smiles, using his joke at the end to sort of lighten the mood.

"I am not your groupie, John," I begin with a laugh. "But, I missed you, too."

I paused for a second before continuing the conversation, I wanted Stella to go on in, I wanted her to get lost in the land of Paul McCartney so I didn't have to let her in on what I was about to ask John about. Thankfully, she did just that. "Is George here, yet?" I ask, whispering. I didn't want Stella to know that I was still carrying a flame for him, and I didn't want her to hear me ask from her spot down the corridor.

"If you must know, he just so happens to be, Joey." John laughs, turning around to point me in the direction of the house's large gathering room.

"Great," I mutter sarcastically, as I follow John into the large room in front of us.

I meet George's eyes from across the room, but I ignore them. I desperately want to ignore him altogether, but we all know how that works out for me. The opposite always ends up happening. Thankfully, John leads me over to Cynthia who is speaking with Maureen, Ringo's wife. Speaking with them is not my forte, however, I realize that talking to them buys me time away from George. Cynthia smiled, "Hi, Jo, how are you?" She greeted.

"I'm great, how are you ladies and this fine young gent?" I replied, bringing Maureen into the conversation not wanting her to feel left out.

Again, Cynthia smiled but this time so did Maureen, "We're great."

"You have an adorable son, Maureen, I just saw a picture of him recently, Ringo let me see it at the studio," I comment, taking a moment to look the baby over. Looking at the child, however, shakes me to the core. I have to excuse myself from the conversation, and I run off in the direction of the downstairs bathroom.

When I reach the door, I don't even knock I just barge right in. I hear a pant zipper and I look up to see George, the one person I was planning on ignoring tonight. "Y'know, Jo, it's common courtesy to knock before entering," He grinned, as he stepped over to the sink and started to wash his hands.

I, too, stepped over to the sink, but instead of washing my hands I steadied myself on the counter and looked at myself in the mirror. The girl in front of me wasn't the girl I had been before I left New York and Bob, this girl was different and I had to get that through my thick skull. However, it still hurt tremendously to think of the child I miscarried. To this day, I hadn't told George about the child, I felt as if he would shun me. "Is something wrong, Johanna?" He asks, looking at me as he dries his hands on the hand towel on the counter.

"I have something to say..." I began, taking a deep breath. "I was pregnant before we left the U.S to start our recording over here."

George gives me an odd look but stays silent for a moment. "Why are you telling me now?" He asks, again with another question.

"I just thought you should know why I never tried to have something with you," I start. "I really did like you, I just felt like my future lied with Bob and our child at the time, now, I know I was wrong," I continue.

"Did? What about now, what's changed, Jo?" George glared at me, it was the first time in forever that he had glared at me. "Nothing is stopping you from having me, oh wait, I know what's the matter, you have a thing with John, that's why you pushed me away on the train."

"John?!" I exclaimed, putting a hand to my forehead. "You have to be kidding me, George, John's my best friend, Pattie is stopping me, George... I don't want you to break her heart."

"Trust me, her heart is the last heart I'll break," George rolls his eyes and leaves the bathroom, leaving me behind.

I came out of the bathroom shortly thereafter and consequently ran into a body in the hallway. I almost dropped to the floor, but the person caught me by the shoulders, stopping my fall to the floor. "I'm so sorry, " A man spoke. I looked up to see an unknown face, he was handsome but he gave off a vibe that did not really suit me, a kind of folky vibe, much like Bob's and I couldn't go down that road again. "You're Johanna Johnson, Bob Dylan's ex, we've met before but I'm Donovan."

"I am... but, I don't really like to be associated with Bob anymore," I start, but the man begins to speak again. I must have been under the influence when I met him the first time because he really didn't stick out in my mind and I really didn't recognize him.

"Yeah, I get it, the situation with Sara and all."

"You knew about that?" I ask, beginning to move in the direction of the family area and dining rooms where everybody else was gathered.

He sighed, "Yeah, it seemed to be a really bad situation."

I laughed shortly, "It was."

"What brings you here?" He asks.

I can't help but grin because I know he is flirting with me, trying to get to know me, "I'm a friend of the Beatles, my sister and I are signed to the same label."

Donovan smiles, "I see, care to join me for the rest of the party?" He proposes.

"Not at all, I'd love to."

Donovan and I find an empty couch and sit down together, we talk for what seems like forever, but in reality, it probably wasn't a span of time longer than an hour and a half. I hear the metal clang with glass suddenly, and I see John stand up from an armchair across the room, "We need the room silent, George has got something to say."

I roll my eyes, I'd really like to get away from George for the evening, even hearing his voice hurts my feelings right now. George files in from the hallway I had formerly been in, Pattie on his arm. As he gets to the middle of the room, he removes his arm from her's and begins talking to the room. "I have an announcement, ladies and gents," He starts, making eye contact with me and then Donovan. He drops to a knee and looks away from me and up at Pattie, pulling a velvet box out of his pocket. I gasp, and Donovan looks at me, I hadn't meant to do that, but I had anyway. "Pattie," He says. "Will you marry me?"

I keep my mouth shut, even though I'm on the verge of tears. Now, I know exactly what he meant by the things he said in the bathroom. He said that he wasn't going to break Pattie's heart, he was going to break mine, and he did so successfully.

"Yes!" Pattie squeals happily, a smile adorning her face.

Turning away from George and Pattie embracing in front of me, I give Donovan a fake smile. "Do you want to get out of here?" I ask.