° jet stream ° h.s. {a.u.}

° chapter five °

° five °

Harry rubbed his thumbs over the palms of Avalon’s hands as she took a shaky breath. “Whenever you’re ready,” Harry whispered.

“Ashton and I were together a long time,” Avalon started, “We were that kind of couple that was far more mature than anyone else and we knew it. We were old people in young people’s bodies.”

“Sounds adorable,” Harry teased, poking her nose.

Avalon chuckled and rolled her eyes, “When we went to university, we bought a flat together and everything. I mean, we were basically set for life with our internships laying out our future jobs and a flat together … I thought we were going to get married and end up together.”

“If this story is supposed to make me feel sad and left out and jealous, then it’s totally working,” Harry chuckled nervously.

“No no I’m sorry,” Avalon shook her head, “Okay. Well, we were coming home from a Christmas party at our company and I was driving and … and Ashton and I were fighting because it was kind of obvious he was keeping something from me and I thought he was cheating …”

“And?” Harry asked. He didn’t like where this story was going. His stomach twisted in panic and anticipation as Avalon took a shaky breath.

“The car came out of nowhere and I was reaching over the dashboard to retrieve whatever it was Ashton was trying to hide from me. And … and I hit the car.”

“You were in a car accident,” Harry nodded. He couldn’t imagine Avalon being in pain or being hurt without him knowing. He couldn’t believe that she had been somewhere far away from him, bleeding, and there was nothing he could have done about it.

His arms tensed around Avalon, pulling her closer as if to protect her from something that’s already happened. “What happened?” he asked softly.

“I killed them,” Avalon whispered, “I killed a newly married couple all because … all because Ashton was hiding an engagement ring in his pocket and was planning on proposing when we got home. I killed people, Harry.”

“Sh,” Harry whispered as her sob cries wet his t-shirt. “Sh sweetheart, it’s okay.”

“They were on their honeymoon,” Avalon cried, “And I killed them over something stupid.”

“Sweetie,” Harry whispered, “It’s not your fault.”

“It is!” Avalon cried, “It’s all my fault. All of it. I’m a murderer! I wasn’t charged because the groom behind the wheel had been drunk so they’d thought it was his fault. But Ashton and I know the truth! It was me! It was me!”

“Avie,” Harry whispered. He rocked her back and forth as they sat together on that fucking couch Harry supposedly hated as he kissed her hair and held her tight. “It’s in the past. Our past is our past. It’s just how things are. But maybe he really was drunk, sweetheart. Maybe it wasn’t your fault at all?”

“I swerved into his lane!” Avalon cried. The memories were coming back as she remembered watching the car flip over, remembered seeing Ashton bleeding and unconscious in the seat next to her, his hand clasping the ring box he’d picked up from his friend at the party that had been holding it for him.

All her fault. She’d killed two people.

“I’m so selfish,” Avalon whispered, “That’s why I broke up with him. That’s why I wanted a fresh start. I’d taken love from the world and I didn’t deserve it. It’s another reason why I dated Luke, to keep myself from loving you.”