For Better Or Worse.

Chapter 18.

Erin's P.O.V

Okay where the hell am I? I am not liking this at all, everything's all black. I am not a fan of the dark, like at all. Wait is that a light! OMG! Am I dead!

"Hello! Wait... Alex! I'm right here, please just turn around!" I yelled at him.

Is.. Is that me? But how is that possible, I.. I don't understand.

"It's what's supposed to happen Erin." My mom said.

Wait! Mom! "Will you please get his attention! This is freaking me out! I don't understand what's going on, and I'm looking at myself in a hospital bed, please don't tell me I'm dead?" I pleaded with her.

"Of course your not dead! Wth gave you that idea? Anyway look your having an out of body experience in order to understand Alex, the way he and you are both alike and to come to terms with not only yourself but the people around you." She said impatiently.

"Um, I really didn't think there was a diagnostic for arrogance, idiocy, sheltered feelings and over over protectiveness." I said somewhat laughing, but she really didn't think that was funny.

"I can't even be here. All I can tell you is that your not the only who's had a run in with Clayton. Follow his memories." Was all she said before leaving me confused as hell.

Ugh! Why did all this weird crap have to happen to me, I'm simple person. I'd love for my life to just stay that way.

"Erin please forgive me because I couldn't protect you." I heard Alex ask beg me.

I've never seen him soooo idk vulnerable I guess. It's so cute though, but it's still sad to think that he would blame himself for what happened to me.

"Alex I thank you for protecting me the best way you knew how to, I don't blame you, but I can't stay." Was all I said before walking towards a light were I saw a little boy crying.

I walked closer and saw that the little boy was Alex, he was on his knees in front of two grave stones and I'm guessing those must be his parents.

He was accompanied by a much older man who Alex slightly resembled now that he's older. I've always wonders how his parents died.

"If only you knew the man you'd turn out to be Alex, I wonder would things be different." I said to the little version of him.

"Do you want to know how they died?" He asked me without even looking at me.

What. Thee. Flying. Efff. Did he just ask me a question. I'm officially freaked out right now.

"Uhhh, yeah actually I'd like to know." I said to him.

He looked at me with the coldest expression I've ever seen on anyone, even Clayton.

"Go that way. Just follow her screams." Was all he said before he turned back around and I heard a woman screaming.

I ran as fast I could to where I heard her screaming. I saw a slightly think and curvy woman with dark brown long hair, she was short with a slightly tan complextion and deep green eyes that resembled that of Alex.

She was with a man whom I presume was Alex's father with worried expressions on their faces. They held and kissed each other as if to say goodbye. It looked sad. They parted ways as she went into the cabin like home and he walked towards what looked like about 6 or 7 men walking towards him.

I followed her into the cabin, not wanting to see what would happen to the man, I knew it would be hard to watch. She went down a hall into a room where little Alex was slightly crying.

"Don't cry sweetheart, you know mommy and daddy love you very much right?" She asked him, to which he just nodded.

"I love you to mommy and daddy." He said as she picked him up, opened an underground hole of some kind and put him in it.

"Now when your in here you have to stay very quiet ok, no matter what promise mommy you won't make a sound and you will remember what I told you about when you find her right?" She asked him with tears in her eyes.

"I promise mommy." Was all he said before she locked him down and stood up, with her back to him.

I was so sure something bad was going to happen, I just stood there off in the corner and waited.

"You will make a great wife and mother young lady, I am so glad my son has you in his life." She said to me with her head slightly turned before turning back and those same men including Clayton barged into the room.

Without even a word I watched as the horrific events happened right in front of my eyes. I didn't turn away not one bit, I just watched as they violated her in every way a woman can be violated, by all 7 men right before they tore her into pieces, into nothing.

They left her there, as if nothing happened, but that wasn't what kept me quiet it was the fact that through that whole ordeal not once did she cry, yell, beg, scream or take one look at Alex. She was just as silent as it was now, except for the cries and blank look on Alex as he broke out of the floor boards.

Even as a little kid he was strong as hell. He looked angry, hurt, sad but he still managed to keep a blank expression on his face. I knew differently though, he was making the same face I had been making most of my life, I'd managed.

He walked out of the room, down the hall, to the front door and walked to where his fathers body was, it was as if he knew where to look, yet his face never changed, he was beginning to manage.

Everything flew by so fast, all the memories of his life flew by me and almost into my head, as if to brand them there or maybe to show me something I'd never noticed until now. To show me how I'd managed, how I shut people out, closed off people. Yet as soon as we moved here my walls may have stayed up but my emotions began to show again, I may not have liked it but I couldn't control it. I needed to let go.

"I understand now, not just about Alex but about everything. About my life, myself and the people around me. I may have gone through something but I won't allow it to stop me, the people around me have felt my pain and they understand me. I can let go now." I whispered to myself and cried on my knees with my hands covering my face.

"It's alright, I'm here and never leaving you babygirl." Alex said, holding me.

I looked up and I was where I saw myself earlier when I had talked to my mom. He had heard me. I understand now.