My Random Writings

And I Will Kiss You

I really thought she was the one, the one who I would spend my life with. We could grow old
together and do weird couple things that married couples seemed to do. I clutched her ring in
my hand solemnly as I stared at the computer screen. She had all the qualities I had loved,
dedication, smart, full of life, and incredibly charming. I swore she must have had an army of
men parading behind her when I had first seen her approach me.
Her smile was the first thing I had seen, so bright and kind that the stars seemed duller in
comparison. Her eyes were the ocean, and i felt lost at sea. Her auburn hair added volume to
her thin frame. I had actually tried to flirt with her and failed terribly, but she said that was what
drew her to me in the first place and that made her like me immediately.
She was the last person I thought I would be with, her wild and spontaneous ideas and
adventures were the complete opposite to my calm and cautious ways. Right from the moment
we had laid eyes on each other it was nothing but passion. It might have been rushed but she
moved in a week after we met to my cozy apartment, by my invitation I might add. Just to see
the glee in her eyes I would do everything for her. She always said I was the hottest stern
woman she had met and then she would kiss me, hard.
We would always go to Stevie’s down the street, Stevie's is a cozy little restaurant that we got
hot cocoa from. We would walk underneath the stars and she would smile and stay close to my
side. The scent of vanilla filled my nose and i loved it, I loved her. She brought the risk taker out
of me and was her reason to be cautious. Whenever we hit a rough patch in the relationship it
was always that one of us would go to Stevie’s, the other trailing after when they calmed down.
And from there we would flirt with each other as though we had never met each other.
After 2 years of living with each other i decided it was time that I should at least propose. I had it
all planned out, we would go to a fancy restaurant and have a nice meal then go see a movie
finally get cocoa at Stevie’s and that would be where I would propose to her. I took up extra
shifts at the office where I worked and stashed the funds in little nooks and crannies that she
wouldn't notice. It was a little longer than I had hoped on it taking, but i had enough for the
dinner and the resizing of the ring in case it didn't fit right.
I waited for her to get home, dressed to the occasion i was a shock to her when she entered.
She took one look at me and started laughing as she wrapped her arms around me and kissed
me, hard. I made her dress up, not that she ever complained about dressing up since she had
been begging to go out for a while now. Hand in hand I led her down to the Limo I had rented
and helped her in before climbing in, slightly hitting my head on the frame of the car, she giggled
and kissed my head.
The dinner was amazing, the entire time I remain fixed on her. She had noticed and asked me
what was the matter, and I replied by asking how was it she still filled my stomach with
butterflies even now. She just smiled and said it was her love spell and blew me a kiss.
We went to the movie theatre and I let her pick what we should watch, she chose a horror movie
and the entire time she huddled into me. I refrained from asking her why she chose it if she was
just going to hide in my boob. But after the movie she seemed happy so I guess it was worth it,
but something unsettled in my stomach. The last place to go to was our Stevie’s, but something
was telling me to stop and just go home. Chalking it up to nerves I pressed on, but the feeling
wasnt leaving me. I secretly fiddled with the ring in my pocket when she grabbed my hand and
leaned against me.
We were half a block to Stevie’s when it happened, everything stopped to a halt. Screeching
tires and the scraping metal and screams. It was all a blur, one moment everything is perfect
and then it falls apart. The next thing I knew we were upsidedown, I frantically searched for her
in fear of the worst. I saw her laying on the ceiling and scrammbled to unbuckle myself, landing
on glass I yelp out in pain. I slowly dragged myself through the car, I kept calling her name in
hopes she would stir. When I reached her I didnt think, I wrapped my arms around her and
started making way to a window wide enough to get out . Gasoline seemed to fill the air as i
reached the window, wiggiling out I tried to pull her out as well. But my fingers kept sliping and
she was a bit heavy. Thats when the front of the car bursted into flames, slowly trailing back,
despraate i scream her name and manage to pull her haltway out when the flames became to
close for me to bear.
I had barely backed away when she too went in flames like to rest of the car. I reached my
hands out to grab without thinking and pulled away in searing pain. All I could do was clutch my
hand and watch her burn until the paramedics and firefighters showed up, with some poliece on
their tail. They said that the driver of the other vehicle was drunk and ran a red light and collided
with us, he died on impact. The only survivor of the damned wreckage was me and I ended up
hating myself for it.
I spent the next few months not eating, constantly screaming her name at night, and blaming
myself. Why? Why me? Why wasnt she spared instead? If I had listented to my gut feeling
would she still be here?
I cant live like this, I cant live without her. This pain I feel wont leave, and I am tired of this world
if she isnt here. I had just sold the ring, giving what little money to whoever I could, I have no
use for it. I have made my way up the stairs to the roof and am now sitting here just feeling the
breeze, and gathering courage. I stnd on the edge and look down to the earth below, I will see
you soon my love.
And when I do I will pull you close to me and kiss you, hard.