Random Depressing Quotes, Poems, and Short Stories

Short Story #2

Short Story #2

I sit on my bed with a sigh after a long day of running around getting groceries, shopping with some friends, boring uni classes, and a quick stop at the local gym.

I had decided to start exercising and losing weight to better myself as a person and so I was overall a healthier person. I've been going for a little while now but I've only lost a few pounds.

With my tall 5'11 frame I was weighing in at nearly 220 lbs before I decided that I didn't want to live my life unhealthily. I now weigh in at 208 lbs and I'm proud of my weight loss but I feel it isn't enough.

I pull out my cheap laptop and google some diet plans to lose weight quicker. I found a web site advertising a diet known as the Ketogenic (Keto) diet. It was a low carb diet that supposedly forces your body to burn fat instead of carbohydrates for energy.

While doing more research on the diet I stumbled upon another page and clicked on it. The page loaded to what looked like chat rooms. I scrolled through and clicked on one labeled 'Starting at a higher bmi'. Clicking led me to more chat room like pages. I clicked on another named 'Goals only plus-sizers will get'. I saw a post from a user of the site and reading through I couldn't help but agree and relate to a few points.

"@moonsenshi

- no more plus-size shopping!
- no more hiding under baggy clothes (pants and t-shirts, even in the summer!)
- no more painful chub rub (inner thighs)
- no more feeling that I am too fat to date
- no more thunderclaps from my thunder thighs lol
- no more rolls/belly bulging out when I sit down
- less joint pain
- not spilling over the sides when I sit in a chair
- no more chunky thighs with obvious cellulite
- bra band not creating back rolls anymore
- no more feeling huge and manly
- no more fat fingers
- shoes not cutting into my fat, swollen feet and ankles
- no more double chin
- no more "pooch" (lower belly sticking out like I am 4 months pregnant)"

I didn't quite get the whole 'joint pain' thing as I don't get that as a result of my weight, but many other things I can agree to.

I hate my thighs. I hate my fat fingers. I hate my double chin. I hate feeling huge. I hate hiding my body in baggie clothing.

I just hate everything about my body in general.

I looked at the website name and was surprised to see what it had been.

www.myproana.com

What the hell is pro-ana?

-

After hours on my laptop I learned that pro-ana was a community of people who were basically all anorexic but this is what they wanted. They joined this community knowing the risks of starvation and continued to starve and drop dress sizes.

This community doesn't actually sound that bad...well except the starving.

But not all of them starve, most just restrict their calorie intake.

Maybe I could give it a shot...

-

It was nearly three months later and I have definitely changed.

I only eat 500 calories in a day - and that's if I even eat anything. I've dropped a lot more weight as well.

In the beginning of my pro-ana lifestyle I had actually gained all the weight I had lost back but it didn't take as long to loss it again.

I can now say happily and proudly that I have dropped down to 203 lbs. 5 more pounds than before and in less then half of the time.

To loss the weight I had lost before took me nearly five months and now I've lost more then what I originally lost but in nearly three months and I couldn't be happier.

After a long search for an Ana buddy, I had actually found out that my dorm-mate - Alex - was part of the community as well, and now we've been helping each other along this wonderful weight loss journey.

Alex can be mean at times - I wanted a harsh Ana buddy/coach - but I wouldn't be anywhere into this lifestyle without her.

Alex is a YouTuber and after making a video about her choice to join the pro-ana community, she has received millions of hate comments. During this hard time she rarely ever ate and only drank water when needed.

I helped her and comforted her as much as I could. I had to remind her that this lifestyle you can't just not eat, because it's not about being so skinny to the point you pass out and die, no - it's about getting close to that point and not a pound more, not a pound less.

She began eating again but still restricted her intake but only to 800 calories, after the long fast her body needed to eat a bit more then she'd go back to 500 calories.

Alex was like me. When she first started the lifestyle she was bigger then most, but now she's dropped her weight to what the average people who joined the community started at.

Her bmi is close to underweight but she's still in the healthy range, a few more pounds and she'll be skinny and beautiful in no time.

As for me, I'm not so close.

But I'm getting there and that's all that matters.

-

I was out shopping with my two bestest friends in the entire world, Niall and Louis. Niall learned about my diet (but he didn't know about the lifestyle) and said he was proud of me for wanting to lose weight and become healthier.

I haven't told Louis I was on a 'diet' yet. I have the biggest crush on him and I can't speak around him when we're alone.

He'd never like you. You're a worthless fag and a fattie.

I could hear someone speaking as if they were in my mind and the voice was familiar. It almost sounded like...Alex.

Put the food down, you don't want to be fatter, do you?

The voice returned as I was about to take a bit of my low calorie sandwich. It was a vegetarian sub with vegan cheese. I hesitated as I placed down my sandwich with a sigh only I could hear. As Louis and Niall munched away on their carb filled subs with calorie packed sauces and dressings.

I cringed as they ate their sandwich, not caring how many calories they're consuming.

The bread was probably around 300-400 calories alone.

The lettuce was the least, probably not even in the 100s yet.

I wonder how much in total...

"You okay, Harry?" Louis snapped me out of my dark thoughts. He looked genuinely worried and concerned.

"I'm fine," I say with a huge fake smile.

"Not hungry?" Niall questioned as he starred at my untouched sub.

"Not really, big breakfast," I lied with a weak smile.

"Put it in a to-go bag and save it for when you're hungry later," Louis said sounding like a worried mother.

"Yes, mother," I teased.

"I prefer daddy,"

Nothing could wipe the smirk off his face as the words left his mouth. I sat with my mouth hanging open, I was shocked.

"You're gonna catch flies," Niall mumbled as he continued to eat his sandwich. I quickly closed my mouth as I stood from the table and got a to-go bag for my sub. I felt my skirt fly up slightly as I sat back in my seat and I couldn't miss Louis' obvious smirk as he watched.

END OF PART ONE

I decided to make this short Story into two smaller parts instead of one huge part. I hope you enjoyed it and I hope to see you all in part two! Bye lovelies! Kisses 😘