-hit random dwarves or elves on the head with a box of somesort and tell them its a form of greeting
-walk around in fog eerily shouting the lyrics to I see fire by Ed Sheeran 24/7
-Sing black veil brides songs at the top of your lungs when you meet an elf of high status
-Bitch slap Thorin to piss him off or just because
-Fricking MARRY Fíli or Kïli 'cause damn! Dey some hot dwarves!
-see how long it takes to annoy Thorin until he flips his shit
-Teach the elves to sing Black Veil Brides
-if someone significant to the story tries to touch one of the LOTR books or the hobbit that you so conveniently have with you, hit them over the head with it and then chase them screaming, "SPOILERS! SPOILERS, SPOILERS, SPOILERS!!"
-put sap in Legolas' hair while he is having a weird elf sleep thats realy just daydreaming
-if you see an orc throw salt on it and see if it dissolves like a slug
-if you find a hobbit say: "You there! You vertically challenged migit! Do you want to build a snowman?"
-of you see two characters that you ship, remotely close to eachother you point at them and yell: "I SHIP IT, YOU ARE TO BE MARRIED IN THE MORNING END OF DISCUSSION!" and then walk away like nothing ever happened.
-Tell some dwarfes that nail polish is for guys and then proceed to paint their nails bright pink
-if an orc or Uruk-hai comes near you create a salt circle around you and then scream at them and call them ijits and say: "IF YOU DONT LEAVE I WILL CALL SAM AND DEAN AND THEY WILL KILL YO ASSES!!"
-go into the lonely mountain with Bilbo and when Smaug is being a jerk yell "WILLIAM SHERLOCK SCOTT HOLMES I WILL NOT STAND FOR YOU TO TALK TO YOUR BOYFRIEND LIKE THAT!!" and then point at Bilbo and when Bilbo tries to say something say: "dont talk outloud, you lower the IQ of the whole mountain" and then walk out
-eat carrots with Merry
-be a fuck up with Pippin
-blow smoke rings with Bilbo and Gandalf
-give Denethor shit for treating Faramir like shit compared to Boromir
-cut Gríma wormtongue's tongue out
-Tie Gollum to a chair and then sing the barbie song for three hours strait
-if you see a caravan of Dwarves, Elves or men coming around the corner make them stop and then say: "I am Loki, Of Asgard, and I am burdened with glorious purpose" and then scream, "KNEEEEEEEEEEEELLLL!!!!!!!!"
