What is love?

2

"DA DA DA DAAAAAA!" I found myself slamming my hand against the alarm to end it's incisiveness noise. It was morning, which I found myself detesting as I grew older. The blinding light of the sun was overpowering the tiny crack in my curtain, forcing me to leap from my bed to pull them closer together. Over the years I had become more accustom to the night. The sun had been my solitude for a while as I found its warm embrace to be a source of comfort. I would say my love of the night was sparked by Zoe only offering me her lustful glances at such ungodly hours. The clock read 7 am which meant it was time for me to get dressed. I hoped the shrill sound hadn't awakened my beloved but as I reach over to pull her into me I was met with a mess of blankets. 

Maybe I should have been more concerned but after the many days that I called out of work after her stunts like this I was not surprised. I would wait hours in our home only for her to tell me she was simply "busy" upon her arrival. This was just apart of Zoe's nature. She was a night owl; extremely lively at night but almost impossible to find during the day. Recently I have become intrigued on where she goes without me. I couldn't help but to be curious what she did in her spare time. If she thought of me as much as I thought of her.

I had to get ready, but their was something pulling me to move further into the abyss. I let my eyes close for what felt like a second. In reality I awoke to find that I had slept through most of the day. Looking at my phone I see the plethora of missed calls from my job. This would be the last time that they overlooked my indiscretions. Checking my voicemail, I hear the distinct voice of the General Manger, of the car dealership that I spend most of my days mindlessly competing to sell more cars than the men in the company. I knew that it was just a matter of time before they found a reason to let me go. It wasn't a field that featured many women and they were just looking for an excuse. Or maybe that's my paranoia. I don't know when I developed the idea that the world was a cold and calculating place, but it's hard to see anything opposite of that truth in my twenties now. 

The next voicemail that appeared was from my therapist asking me if she would see me this week. I never have a good time with therapist. Talking about myself on end makes the hair on my skin stand up. Despite how hard I try to imagine that they enjoy listening to me complain about my life during consecutive sessions, even I rather not hear the words aloud. I could barely make it through her entire message before I heard the rattling of the door. Checking the time once again I knew that this is the time that she has designated for me. I usually see Zoe between a very select time every day as if being with me is a chore. It always feels like that in most of my relationships. Zoe is no different, if anything she highlights the parts of others that forces me to push them away. 

"Zoe?" I call out as if I was not expecting her. It was a little game that we played. She was the cat and even though I pretended to be, I knew that I was not the mouse. "Veronica, lets have fun" she said the same thing everyday. The script between us never changes. 

I wish that it would change. I tried to change it previously, we both made an attempt. There was one point where we thought that maybe going to dinners could be the thing that we did instead of spend time tangled in the sheets. It didn't work out to long. There was something about my nature that craved physical attention that was aroused shortly after meeting Zoe and she was more than happy to comply. 

Zoe slithers into the bed room in one of her infamous short slip dresses. This one fit her as they all do, a feminine cut that worked to show off her curves.  She was wrapped up in it now, but would not be for long. The game had just begun. "Love, come closer" she calls to me in a language she knows satisfies my ears. It was no surprise when Zoe instantly picked on the fact that my love language is words. Words seem to be Zoe's specialty. "You know that I love you right? You're so beautiful in the moonlight. I wish that we could spend all of our time during the night time. I wish that you could see how you shine even when no one's looking. I wish that the moon could encompass you in it's glow forever" her breath fans the nape of my neck.