Pen

xlii - Grace's POV

Grace

I can't believe it. My own fucking best friend doesn't reply to my hand-written letters. I ditched my friends for him. I've liked him since 5th grade and I cant let him go. I love him too much. I don't want him to get hurt. He has grown, puberty has hit him pretty damn hard.

I think it's time to leave. By the meaning leave I mean leave. I can't handle all the hate & pain that he has brought to me. I'm too weak. I'm not that strong girl everybody used to know. I'm now the suicidal girl who is going through anxiety. It's time to write my final letter to him.

I'm not yet ready. But since this will be the last time I'll ever be talking to him, it's time to leave a meaningful letter. I stood up from my past position, sitting on the bed. I walked over to my study desk as I opened the mahogany drawer I had. I took out a piece of paper and a black-inked pen. I began with a simple 'dear, Ashton'.

Dear Ashton,

You don't know how much pain you have brought into my life.

I was so lucky that I'm still alive today.

I've been through a lot and suffering depression Ash.

I have to take it all in.

All of us were meant to die one day.

And it's my time now.

We've had a lot of memories together.

I'll miss them very much.

I'm sorry that I'll only leave you a letter.

Sorry that I was too demanding and bitchy to you when we had the time to talk.

I feel so bad right now.

You don't even know how bad.

I'll miss you and my family.

Please don't even bother finding me nor remembering me.

I will always be ashes on the ground.

I love you so much.

Please tell Ally that I love her too.

You're one and only,

Grace

As I ended he letter with my signature, I felt a tear trickle down my cheek. I wiped the tear away as they began to ruin my makeup. I sighed as I stood up. I walked out of my room, slamming the door shut.

I walked over to the bathroom as I closed the door. I looked at my appearance in the mirror. Honestly, I looked like a raccoon. This may seem like the cliché shit you see on movies but I did look like a raccoon.

I bit my lip as I looked up, trying to stop the tears. But, I was too late. Tears started to trickle down as it made me even look worst than I was before. I looked down as I wiped my face with my shirt.

I made a tissue damp as I began to wipe my face. It didn't seem effective like makeup remover but it seemed worth it to me. I looked back at the mirror and began to think.

'Why am I here? Can't I just die and ascend to heaven? Why do I exist? Does anybody even care about me?'

Thoughts and thoughts were wandering around my mind as I cried even harder. I wasn't expecting my life to end like this. But sadly, the world just hates me. I'll never be happy again.

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so some people have been wondering why it was little sentences or phrases and shit. So there u go. I edited it okay? Lol I was bored so yeah yay.