Hand in Hand

Just a Push

Philinda pairing, after 1x17 Coulson realizes May is more beat up then she's letting on.

Rated K+

Disclaimer: I don't own Agents of S.HE.I.LD or may any profit off this

May had probably just experienced the worst day in a long while, and that was saying something. Coulson had found out about her private line with Fury, who, was apparently dead, she'd been shot by an icer in the forehead, fought Hydra in handcuffs, and then been knocked out again by being slammed into a wall. Not to mention that every time Coulson spoke to her he sounded like a general speaking to a servant, devoid of emotion and caring less.

Now, she was standing in the BUS a few feet away from Coulson trying to hold it together, trying to fight the black bugs that are eating away her vision but she couldn't. Everything hurt, that wasn't a new feeling of course, but this time it was different. Not only was she physically in pain but also her heart is aching in a way she hadn't felt in years.

The way Phil had looked down at her from the top of the stairs, a gun pointed at her head, looking at her like he didn't know who she was anymore. He would never forgive her and she didn't blame him, she should've never kept him in the dark like that. And no matter how hard she might try to convince him that she'd done it for his sake, because she cared about him...a little too much even...he wouldn't believe her. She didn't dare look at him, she wouldn't be able to handle the way he would look right past her, as if she wasn't even there.

Everything was going a bit blurry now, the BUS became a jumble of colors, the few people that walked by her she couldn't quite identify. She was sure it was a mix of both the tears rising in her eyes and the dizziness pounding in her skull. Distantly it registered that she had to get back to the cockpit or her bunk but when she tried to take a step she swayed. She heard someone trying to talk to her but just then, everything went dark.

He was enraged. How could she?! After all they'd been through and she kept it from him! She knew how much this meant to him, knew he had been searching for answers, knew that he had trusted her and yet she had betrayed him. When he'd found out his heart had given a painful lurch that'd he had tried so desperately to ignore. He should've known better, she was May, she was reserved, quiet, observant. He should've known.

But then there was the part of his mind that kept repeating her words I care for you Coulson...very much. And it was driving him insane. Was it possible that she'd really done all that because she was trying to protect him? No...if she was really his friend she would've told him. But what if she didn't want to risk it? Didn't want to risk him going insane? If their positions had been reversed would he have told her?

His gaze fell upon May, only a few feet away and at the same time he could tell she was millions of miles off. Her eyes were glazed over, lips turned down in a soft frown, and shoulders hunched slightly. If he hadn't know better he would've thought she was...upset. Before the thought could process her demeanor changed, she looked in pain for a moment before every sign of emotion disappeared from her face and she started to slump forwards.

"Agent May are you-" He starts, but it was too late...she was already falling.

"May!" All trace of icy cold indifference left his voice as he raced towards her, catching her falling form before she can hit the ground. "May...hey! May!" No response.

Her eyes are closed, her cheeks are unnaturally pale, but she's breathing. He stands there, staring down at her for a moment, conflicted as to what he's supposed to do. Part of him is still fuming at her and wants to just drop her and leave her there, or take her to Fitzsimmons. But another part of him wants to pick her up, take her back to her own bunk and leave her to herself. However, what he ends up doing is scooping her up bridal style and taking her back to his office. To keep her in sight in case she tries to escape he tells himself, but he knows there's another reason.