Hand in Hand

Always You

Philinda pairing, after Rosalind's death May goes up to check on Coulson

Rated K+

Disclaimer: I do not own Agents of Shield or make any profit off this

They heard the crashing and yelling from Coulson's office and exchanged sad looks. "Maybe someone should go check on him." Mack suggested.

"He'll be fine, he just needs time." Yo-Yo told him.

"No Mack is right, I'll go check up on him." Daisy said.

"No." May shook her head, "He'll put up a façade for you, I'll go see if he's alright."

They nodded and May went up the stairs to Coulson's office, not bothering to knock on the door, "Coulson?" She asked softly.

There was no response other then more stomping and banging, he was still in a rampage...destroying everything in his path. She had never seen him like this, it reminded her far too much of herself. Entering the office didn't help he just kept storming around, knocking over chairs and swiping papers to the floor. Marching towards him she stood directly in his path, "Coulson." She said firmly.

He didn't even seem to realize her presence there he just went around her, kicking the desk on his way. "Hey!" She followed him, grabbing his arm, "Snap out of it, this isn't like you."

He took hold of her shoulders, gripping them tightly, "Why are you here?" He hissed.

Confusion formed on her face as she studied the man before her carefully, "The team is worried about you, I came to see if you were alright."

"You have to go."

"Phil?" She asked, voice on the verge of concern.

"Don't." His grip tightened on her shoulders, bunching the leather vest she wore.

"Phil, hey...I know you're going through some stuff right now but you're worrying me, I know it hurts now but you can't do this." She said, gesturing to the mess he'd made.

"It could've been you." He whispered.

"What?" Hysteria was starting in replace concern.

"Rosalind...she...she...I didn't love her, no...I mean I liked her she was beautiful and smart and funny but she wasn't you. And she died and and it reminded me why I couldn't have you, because I couldn't loose you. I wanted to tell you, so many times I wanted to tell you but then with Andrew and Daisy and everything else I couldn't. But then but then she died and I knew I could never tell you because I couldn't loose you too and I had to protect you but then you're here and now...and now you're looking at me like I'm crazy. But Melinda you have to go, you have to go." He rambled, words spilling out in no particular order and hardly comprehendible to anyone but himself.

She shook her head, confused and worried, she didn't know what he was saying something about loosing her and needing her? She wasn't sure. Searching his eyes for something to make sense of what he was saying she found the deepest longing and pain in his blue eyes. At first she thought those were his emotions for Rosalind but then it hit her...he was looking at her...her. A small gasp involuntarily left her and then hand that was on his upper arm tightened in surprise, "Phil...you can't be talking about...I mean I know that's crazy for me to think but...you're not? You don't have feelings for...no..." She shook her head, "You can't...you can't want me?" There was caution and doubt written all over her face but her eyes were unmistakably screaming but I'm unlovable.

"I don't want you." A look of both sadness and shame flitted over her face before she looked down, "I need you."

Her gaze darted back up again, "Phil."

"I care about you so much and I don't want to hurt you, I don't want to be the cause of any of your pain whether it be physical or emotional. And I don't want to ruin what we have...our friendship, the late nights talking, sharing drinks, undercover missions together. I don't want to loose you and I'm afraid I will, and I couldn't go on without you. Rosalind...her death it reminded me of what could happen to you and I just...I just lost it. You are the most important person in my life and I can't ever loose you."

Tears brimmed in her eyes and she searched for words but they all stuck in her throat so she pulled him to her, embracing him tightly. She couldn't help it, as soon as she felt his arms encircle her waist she let out a soft sob. She didn't know how to cope with what he'd just told her or how she felt about him...well maybe she did and just wasn't ready to admit it...but what she did know was that she wanted to hug him like this for a lot longer then one should want to hug someone. But of course her logic kicked in after a few more seconds and forced her to let go, but not without immense struggle.

Once again she searched for something to say to the man who stood before her but once again came up with nothing. Her mouth opened and then closed again softly shaking her head. All she could do was take his hand in hers and squeeze it tightly, "You won't loose me...at least not if I can help it." She whispered.

"I'll give you space if you need to think or..."

"No." She cut in, "I mean...I need to think yes but I don't want to pull away from you. Plus, tonight is drink night."

He smiled, "You make a fair point, let the team know I'm okay and then come later for a whiskey?"

"I think Bourbon and lime would be better for the occasion."

"Bourbon it is."

She smiled, "And Phil?"

He turned back to look at her, "Yes?"

"Clean up."

He laughed and she smiled, exiting the office.

A/N I know omg fluff, I have a thing for fluff lately. Rate and review please!