Riches To Rags

Chapter 16: Partial Reconcile

Chapter 16: Partial Reconcile

"Moving beyond past wounds and hurts and building a culture of respect, dignity, and flowering love."

~ William Keepin

At one point in time, her name meant everything to her. The Harris name was something to be proud of. Or was it the money that was attached to the name. Over the last couple of weeks, Rae had time to reevaluate the whole situation when it came to her father lying about the family being broke and Carla being her actual mother. It was lies piled on top of lies for many years and it seemed as though Rae couldn't get over the dagger that was stabbed deeply in her heart.

Her growth was something to be proud of and because of it, the revelation that her family wasn't in debt after all held nothing to her. Money wasn't on her mind. Status was far away from her thoughts. She came a long way from wanting a Hermes bag and other expensive items that people wished they had. Her emotions were focused on something more tragic. Her mind was only on Carla and her alone. Nonetheless, she was disappointed in her father for just leaving her to fend for herself. Moving to an area that she wasn't accustom to. She understood why he choose a drastic way to teach her that it was time to grow up, but the theatrics of it all could have been avoided.

She had never felt so empty, so lost in it all until now and her heart felt like it was going to explode at any minute. Although she felt like she was better off without Daisy, she felt rejected and abandoned. There were times where she gave signs that she never really wanted to be part of her life. Being a mother was something that she maybe never signed up for. And how just like Rae was raise, Daisy only saw dollar signs when it came to Frank. She was never part of the deal. Certain stipulations might have fell into play. One of them being that Carla was to take care of her while Daisy went on her many trips to Turk and Caicos or Elite parties.

Rae always felt a strong connection to Carla and believed that Daisy never treated her like a mother should treat their daughter. The ultimate characteristic being love. Now looking back, Daisy had never showed her love. She was never in her life like a true mother was suppose to be. Before, it never registered in her brain that that was something that she was missing. But now, her heart ached.

Now she often wondered how life would have been if her father would have let her stayed with Carla. Would she have grown up with a selfish bone in her body? Thinking that she as above everyone else and that nothing mattered in life, but what she had in her bank account and the type of people she hung around. Would she care about others around her mother than herself, since being taught that materialistic things couldn't be snatched away from you without a second thought?

The past was uncertain. Unfortunately Rae couldn't go back in time and changed the dynamics of her family. Wishing she could was only making her hopeless. 

"You sure are hard to find," a soft voice said behind her. She knew who it was before turning around.

"I thought I told you guys I wanted to be alone," she mumbled to Carla as she watched from the corner of her eyes she approached her.

"I no longer work for the Harris family, "she said. "So following orders is something I don't indulge in anymore."

As the cold breeze hit her soft skin, she gazed out into the horizon, watching the waves crash against the shore at the Santa Monica Pier. Because it was the middle of the week, the beach was quite empty, giving Rae a sense of not only privacy, but also the opportunity to calm her nerves for what was next. Her mind needed freedom of disturbance.

"Shutting people out is not going to fix everything."

"I'm not shutting people out, I just need time to figure out what I'm going to do. It's only been a couple of weeks."