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CHAPTER FOURTEEN - THE COME BACK

February 11th, 1991

Dear Diary,

I've never felt this nervous in my entire life. I have this feeling that I am going to mess up everything. Today is the day I get so see Michael again, and it's like I can't deal with that overwhelming sensation I have in me. I don't know what I am supposed to tell him, or what I should do or say. I've waited for this moment for days, but I didn't have the time I needed to get prepared to it. I told myself time and time again that I was ready to jump in this situation, but now I am not too sure anymore.

I didn't sleep much the previous night, so here I am, awake and up at five in the morning. I spent the night trying to find the words I would tell to Michael, but every time I thought I had it figured out, I realized what I had planned was a bad idea.

But I was excited too. I was eager to see Charlie's face lit up with joy at the sight of his idol. This was an early birthday gift just before his birthday party, and I knew he would be thrilled.

Today was the day my life would take a new start, and of course, my fucked up mind didn't show me much about this particular day.

I put a final point at my sentence, and shut my journal before putting it down on the window seat. I slightly chuckled as Al was still snoring in bed, and went down the stairs. My hair was still damp from the hot shower I took a few minutes before, but I didn't blow-dried it, fearing this would wake my friend up. Alice had to be at the hospital at eight in the morning, and I wanted her to rest as much as she could because I knew how difficult it was to go back to work after a week off.

I took my warm coat from the hanger and my car keys from the little table next to it, and finally, I left the loft, careful to lock the door behind me.

The car ride to the hospital was silent, as I didn't put the radio on as I usually do. I wanted to be alone with my thoughts, as I was going through yet another annoying questioning. I was wondering how I would feel, being finally reunited with the man who was so heavy on my mind since we first met. I summarized everything I saw about him thanks to my visions: the pills, the women he was with, the courthouse, the children...

All of those things he didn't know, that nobody knew. Nobody but me.

Of course, I was afraid that at the minute my hand would make contact with his, that it would start again. That I would just black out again, just like the first time. What if it was all too much for me to take? What if I wasn't ready for my gift to evolve this fast in such a little amount of time?

When I entered the service, the first person I saw there was Carl. He was leaning on the front desk, filling a chart. I walked towards him with a smile I faked due to my nervousness, and when his eyes met mine, he gave me one of his sincere smiles. Those were the smiles I learned to identify. Before we became friends, it was hard for me to see when he was being sincere with me, and when he was not. Now it was easier for me to know what he was thinking.

"Hey you," he smiled while signing a document. He closed the chart and handed it to Annie who was sitting behind the desk and finally looked at me. "How are you this morning?"

"Hey, I'm alright," I half-lied. I was feeling fine, but I was very nervous too. "What about you? You were on-call last night?"

"Yeah, I'm about to go take a nap before you-know-who gets here," he told me, and my eyes widened a bit. "What? You're surprised I know about him coming here again?"

"Y—yeah, well no—but I mean, Baker told me he wanted to come here undercover."

"When you told me about the birthday party you wanted to organize and when I learned the kid was a fan of his, I knew you'd do something like this," he laughed, pointing a finger towards me. "Come on, admit it, you're the one who wanted him to come back here!"