Collide

CHAPTER FORTY - CONFESSION (Act II)

April 3rd, 1991

Dear Diary,

I haven't been writing in there for a little while, shit got crazy around here. It's been three days since I woke up from my coma, and I feel okay. I mean, my side and shoulder hurt, but other than that, I am fine. Today, I get released from the hospital, and I couldn't be happier about it. Being in there is making me depressed, I just can't wait to find the comfort of my bed back.

Al keeps on telling me that I need to rest, but I can't put my brain to rest. There's so much on my mind. Carl and his suspicions, Hayden and this whole mystery around him, and of course, there's Michael. It's funny, because I don't know what's going to happen between us. The only thing I know is that, by sharing this kiss with him, his whole future changed. Now, I hope I changed it for the best.

I put my rescued journal down as the door of my room opened. Soon enough Alice and Grams came in. I called my grandmother the day I woke up, just as I said I would. Since I didn't know if Hayden was actually my brother as I thought he was, I thought that I couldn't be mad at her for lying. We didn't know just yet if she did. I, on the other hand, did hide the truth from her. When I called my grandmother to tell her about my accident, I didn't mention the visions nor the coma. Firstly because I didn't want her to tell me again how Michael was wrong for me, and secondly because I didn't want her to worry about me. Me being in a car accident was already enough to deal with for her since I was in a bad shape.

Alice, Carl and Dr. Sanchez agreed on not mentioning the ten-days coma I had been through in front of her, and I was thankful for that. I hated lying, but in my case, sometimes it was just what I had to do to protect the people around me, and to keep them by my side.

I closed my diary, and smiled at my best friend who came behind my wheelchair to push me out of this hospital. On our way out, we passed by Dr. Sanchez who wished me a speed recovery. Grams thanked him for taking car of me, and he looked at me with sadness in his eyes. He was sorry he couldn't find the reason to my coma, but of course, he couldn't tell her that, so he just told her that it was his job.

Sometimes I wished that some doctor would find what's physically wrong with me, so that, maybe, this ability of mine could be handled and treated. What if sometimes I would have the opportunity to get rid of it? What would I do? If this was all possible and if I was asked that at this moment in my life, I would probably get rid of it.

When I happened to take some time to look at my life, I realized that, whenever I was given the opportunity to save someone thanks to my ability, I failed. I couldn't save my grandfather from his cancer because I was too scared to mention it to my parents the first time I had this vision of him being sick. It took me around eight months to tell them, and it took another one for my grandfather to go pass some tests. Cancer can do some damage in nine months.

And then, there's my parents. Even when I actually tried to do something, it wasn't enough and I did the wrong move. I wished my ability was given with an instructions book, so that I could look it up whenever I didn't know what to do with it.

"Take your time,"Alice encouraged as she helped me climb the loft's stairs. "I'm right there."

"My legs are fine, Al. Don't worry, I can do this," I reassured, giving her a faint smile.

"Let me go there to open the door for you," Grams offered, as she climbed the stairs faster to get there before me.

"I saw the bruises on your legs girl, they don't seem that fine. I can tell just by the way you walk," she pointed out, and I gave in. She was right, my legs felt very sore and weak. My whole body was aching, to be quite honest. "I'll be your legs until yours feel better."