The Color Orange

Introduction

I was 13 when I lost my virginity, It was never anything special. The thought of sex to me was just an action for pleasure, it was biology. I thought girls that made it a big deal were prudes that got whatever they wanted. So when I lost mine it wasn't that big of a deal. I didn't understand what the big deal was it was just sex. To me it was always meaningless, and whoever wanted more was in for a world of hurt.

I remember the pain. I wanted to tell him to stop, but I didn't.  I watched as he struggled to put it in, his pants were unzipped not even down and the way it stuck out the little hole in his boxers. I wasn't even wet and he was already trying t put it in" Stupid little boy " I thought, he didn't even know what he was doing. Of all people why did I have to choose him. I stared at him for a moment and started noticing more of his features, he had short jet black hair, his eyes were a dark brown and his skin matched them, he had a birth mark on the right side of his rib and was pretty fit. He had kind of a round face that made him appear younger than what his really was" Well he is pretty cute " I said to myself. After about five minutes of watching him struggle I finally took over. I grabbed his hand and guided it " what are you doing? " he said. I took one finger and slid it inside like I had seen in the porno movies I had watched before, I remember the couple in the movie calling it fingering and the women really seemed to enjoy it, the feeling wasn't pleasant as she made it seem. I started to move his hand in a forwards and backwards motion. He watched me as I did this then tried to kiss me, I quickly moved my head to the side " No kissing " I said, he looked a little hurt but didn't say anything. After about ten minutes of letting him finger me I was finally wet enough for him to slide into me. He took his pants then boxers off and I finally got a clear view of his member, I stared at it for a second it was standing high and mighty it was a lighter shade than the rest of his body and he had curly black hair all around it,  honestly it looked gross. I ignored the way it looked and pulled out a condom from my pants that were on the floor. I remember my teachers talking about pregnancy and STD's in my health class and I wanted no part of that. I opened the packet and looked at the condom inside it was a tan color and it was all oily, I had no idea how to use this thing. In that moment I started to panic, my heart started beating fast and my palms were getting all sweaty. What was I doing, I'm naked in some guys bed am I out of my mind, I froze not knowing what to do. I was just about to put a stop to it when I quickly got it together " you got this " I said to myself. I slid the condom on the full length of his member then rolled over on top of him. If I was going to lose my virginity I was going to do it my way. I steadily balanced over his body and slowly put it in. I was a world of pain, the walls of my vagina stretched, it was like fitting a hotdog into a key hole. It got stuck in one place for a second but I slammed myself onto him and made it fit. I regretted it as soon as I did it, tears were forming in my eyes from the pain. I ignored them and started to move my body like the girl from the video. This was not enjoyable like the girl made it seem, the guy part seemed to be true at least while I was moving I watched him, his eyes were closed and he mouth was slightly parted. He was moaning my name " Rose, fuck Rose ". He then put his hands on my hips making me go faster. The pain and friction became to much to bare, a tear managed to slip out but I quickly wiped it away covering up my pain with fake moans of pleasure. It wasn't long before he reached his climax he grabbed on to my waist harder and made me go faster he shut his eyes tight and let out a big grunt, " that was it?" I thought. But I hadn't reached mine yet not even close " why did I choose one who didn't know what he was doing".  I got off of him, removed the condom and quickly began to get dressed, he tried to reach out for me but I moved away from him before he could grab me,  "where are you going? " he said. I didn't answer him, I couldn't even bring myself to look at him. He asked again " where are you going? Aren't you going to stay with me? ", when he said that I began to laugh and turned his way " did you not know what this was? " he looked at me with a confused look on his face. " This was us getting together wasn't it? " I laughed even harder he really wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed. " This means nothing to me " I said " We are nothing, I just wanted to have an orgasm and I didn't even get that ". He looked at me as though he was about to cry " Rose this was my first time, you are my first. I thought this was special " I began to get annoyed " none of this was special, I'm sorry you didn't realize that before " and with that I had finished getting dressed and I left.