Everything Happens For a Reason.

Never say Never.

And sometimes I forget that I have friends surrounding me. And sometimes I forget that they care.

The fact that hardly anybody had noticed that my upset moods where getting more constant, made them worse. I didn't mean to take it out on people, but that's just the way that things occurred. Yet, I came to the conclusion, that I was sort of treading lightly, trying my very best to not hurt their feelings, throwing out a couple of smiles, just for their benefit. But, here I was thinking, they don't care about my feelings. And I don't see them hesitating to complain about things, not giving out a false smile for just our entertainment. Why should I be, some kind of human show? Frankly, I don't want to be a puppet show, I wasn't going to let them control me. I wanted to be free.

The fact that today, I felt close to him. Made me sort of feel further away. And that sounds weird but you know, it's just the way I felt. It was sort of a chaotic day. He was hyper and not a single person didn't laugh. And, with the characters we have in out group, even I found myself hysterically creasing. Funny times. And then with an amazing lesson with the girls I love, I really couldn't be any happier.

Yet, the walk home, the getting home, the msn, where he was online. Where I found myself, yet again getting him with somebody, where really I wanted somebody else to get me with him. That obviously wasn't going to happen. And him, being his stubborn self, and deciding he was going to make his own decisions, my friends efforts where also banished in attack.

And when, you love someone the way I love someone and you eventually realise that nothing will happen. You get killed inside. But today, things have been looking up. The sun was out, and so was my smile, my real smile.

And maybe one day, he will love me. Maybe not as much as I love him. But for him to care just a tiny bit, would be too me a lottery win. My numbers have been chosen, and now, they are just waiting to be drawn. And these are even his, loving words.

Never say Never.